Helping Your Sports Kid Set Good Goals

Too often, sports parents set goals for their kids that are different than the kids' goals. It’s important for parents and coaches to help sports kids identify their own goals and then help them follow through on them.

Says Dony Wilcher, a popular basketball coach in Portland, OR., “I had one parent who wanted the world for his child. He went out of his way to get him the right equipment and send him to the top camps.”

“At the end of it all, he was perplexed that the kid was not a superstar. In some cases, kids will veer away from the sport altogether if the parents' goals are different than theirs.”

At first, most kids generally want to play sports to have fun and be with friends. At that point, that’s their goal, and it’s not necessary to set goals with them.

When they begin to be competitive--when they play in tournaments or join competitive teams--it's time to begin talking about their goals. For some children, this might be as young as 7 or 8--if they display unusual talent and motivation.

For example, I worked with one 8-year-old motocross racer who spent four hours per day training. It would be appropriate to talk about goals with a child like this.

When you're talking with your young athlete, begin with a broad, open-ended question.

If, for example. your child's goal is to try out for and make his or her high school basketball team, that's the long-term goal. Ask the child what he or she needs to do to make the team.

Evaluate his or her skills in dribbling, free-throw shooting, and defense, for example. Try to de-emphasize the long-term goal of making the team. When young athletes are too preoccupied with making the team, they may impose too many expectations on themselves and undermine their confidence.

Instead, parents and coaches should help young athletes identify smaller, shorter-term goals, such as improving their free-throw shooting.

Once you've helped your young athletes identify their goals, it's your job to help them aim toward them. The parents, coaches and athletes need to work as a team.

Parents should support their athletes by driving them to practices, cheering them on, and finding ways to ensure they are able to follow through on their commitments.

However, it's critical to be flexible. Parents and coaches should help kids modify their goals on a weekly or monthly basis.

Want to learn more about helping young athletes feel happy and confident in sports? Check out our latest program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook and CD program:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

You'll learn...

• How much pressure is too much


• How to prepare young athletes on game day


• How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks of their
  performance


• How to help kids overcome their fear of failure


• And much more!

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert

P.S. 'The Ultimate Sports Parent' workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game
or competition, which you can download immediately:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

Helping Perfectionistic Sports Kids

Often, we hear from parents who worry about young athletes who are too hard on themselves. You’re likely familiar with these types of athletes. They’re perfectionists or perfectionistic.

Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.

On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.

It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.

If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.

Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?

One important task for you as parent....

Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.

For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.

Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”

You’ll also learn how to:

• Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
• Motivate kids to master their sport
• Help kids feel confident in athletics
• Help young athletes not worry about what everyone thinks
• Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
• Cope with kids’ difficult or negative coaches
• Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author

P.S. Do you and your child want to learn how to overcome perfectionism, fear of failure, and perform up to one's potential? You might want to check out our new workbook to help sports kids perform better and accept imperfection.

©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!

http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/