By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
Mike, a sports dad to an 11-year-old who plays high-level baseball, is worried about his son’s confidence. Jim’s baseball coach often singles Jim out for making mistakes. As a result, the kids on the team also comment when Jim makes mistakes.
Mike says Jim doesn’t mind so much when the coach singles him out. But Jim is not so happy when the other kids pick up on this negativity and start offering their two cents about his mistakes.
This situation can be a confidence buster for young athletes if their parents don’t handle it well.
Young athletes often worry about what their peers think of them. If they worry too much, it can undermine their confidence and performance. They’ll often start playing tentatively. They’ll be afraid to take risks. They’ll be afraid of making more mistakes.
Mike took a smart approach: He reminded Jim that he generally contributes a lot to the team, and the coach and kids likely expect a lot from him.
He suggested that Jim find ways to turn this negative into a positive: Mike told Jim to take the feedback and use it as motivation to work harder.
When sports parents struggle with this issue, they should also consider having a frank conversation with the coach. If you do this, be sure to wait until after a game. Or make an appointment to see the coach. Don’t approach the coach at half-time during a game if you are upset.
Wait to cool off before you sit down with the coach. Be sure to be as positive as possible. You might say, “I really appreciate all that you’re doing for the kids on these teams. I have one issue I’d like to discuss with you. I think it hurts my son’s confidence when you single him out for criticism.”
In addition, it’s important for sports parents to stress that confidence comes from within. It’s based on what they can control—how hard they work in practice, their motivation and their past successes. It shouldn’t be based on what they can’t control—the weather, the size of the ball they’re playing withopponents the team is playing against, or what others might be saying about them.
Young athletes need to focus on what they do well and try to push out of their minds worries about what others think of them.
What’s more, you can remind your young athletes that it’s natural to make mistakes in sports. No one is perfect. In fact, athletes learn from mistakes.
You’ll learn:
*How to talk to a coach
*When to find a new coach
*How to motivate kids to do their best
*How to communicate with your young athletes
*How to prepare kids for game day
*How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks
*And much more!
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com
Showing posts with label kids in sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids in sports. Show all posts
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Youth Sports: An Athlete’s "Emotional Tank"
By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
How can parents and coaches fill a young athlete’s “emotional tank?”
Coaches need to praise kids five times before they provide one piece of constructive criticism, says David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, based at Stanford University.
“We liken a child’s emotional tank to a car’s gas tank. When the tank is full, it runs well. When it’s drained, it doesn’t run well,” he explains.
To fill a child’s or teen’s tank, parents and coaches need to provide a steady flow of specific, truthful praise, Jacobson says. When you do this, sports kids are more confident. They’re also more open to criticism and more likely to listen to what the coach or parent has to say.
“When you’re praising, you’re creating a great feeling for the child so he or she wants to continue the work required to excel as an athlete and take away all the life lessons that sports has to offer,” he says.
It’s critical to build young athletes’ confidence by praising them. For many young athletes, confidence is fragile and wavers easily depending on their performance and feedback from parents and coaches. They’re less likely to feel confident if they make mistakes or lose a match and get criticized.
One of your goals is to help your child develop a more stable level of confidence. Help them through the bumps in the confidence roller coaster.
Here’s another way to fill your kids’ emotional tanks and boost their confidence: Teach them how to praise themselves. Help your kids create a confidence resume. It may include a fun practice, a past experience, a successful game, skills improvement or good coaching. Ask your kids to review their confidence resumes before competing.
To develop confidence, kids, should have a “highlight reel” in their heads just before a game, says Robert Troutwine, Ph.D., founder of Troutwine and Associates. That’s a mental image of their most amazing play, move or moment in sports. It’s an image of a play, move or moment that makes them feel on top of the world!
Remember: The last thing we want is for your young athletes to mentally rehearse bad plays, moves or moments in sports!
Why? Because they’ll be practicing the wrong things. They’ll allow self-doubt to creep into their minds. They’ll be totally distracted!
However, playing in their heads a highlight reel that’s a totally awesome moment will help them feel confident—it will give them the feeling they can and will succeed.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting www.youthsportspsychology.com.
How can parents and coaches fill a young athlete’s “emotional tank?”
Coaches need to praise kids five times before they provide one piece of constructive criticism, says David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, based at Stanford University.
“We liken a child’s emotional tank to a car’s gas tank. When the tank is full, it runs well. When it’s drained, it doesn’t run well,” he explains.
To fill a child’s or teen’s tank, parents and coaches need to provide a steady flow of specific, truthful praise, Jacobson says. When you do this, sports kids are more confident. They’re also more open to criticism and more likely to listen to what the coach or parent has to say.
“When you’re praising, you’re creating a great feeling for the child so he or she wants to continue the work required to excel as an athlete and take away all the life lessons that sports has to offer,” he says.
It’s critical to build young athletes’ confidence by praising them. For many young athletes, confidence is fragile and wavers easily depending on their performance and feedback from parents and coaches. They’re less likely to feel confident if they make mistakes or lose a match and get criticized.
One of your goals is to help your child develop a more stable level of confidence. Help them through the bumps in the confidence roller coaster.
Here’s another way to fill your kids’ emotional tanks and boost their confidence: Teach them how to praise themselves. Help your kids create a confidence resume. It may include a fun practice, a past experience, a successful game, skills improvement or good coaching. Ask your kids to review their confidence resumes before competing.
To develop confidence, kids, should have a “highlight reel” in their heads just before a game, says Robert Troutwine, Ph.D., founder of Troutwine and Associates. That’s a mental image of their most amazing play, move or moment in sports. It’s an image of a play, move or moment that makes them feel on top of the world!
Remember: The last thing we want is for your young athletes to mentally rehearse bad plays, moves or moments in sports!
Why? Because they’ll be practicing the wrong things. They’ll allow self-doubt to creep into their minds. They’ll be totally distracted!
However, playing in their heads a highlight reel that’s a totally awesome moment will help them feel confident—it will give them the feeling they can and will succeed.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting www.youthsportspsychology.com.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Talented Kid Athletes and High Expectations
Chris, the sports mom of an 8-year-old athlete, faces a difficult dilemma: Her son is a talented goalie in hockey, but he's so good that his team mates and coaches rely on him.
Chris's problem: The boy feels so pressured to perform that he recently pretended to be sick to avoid playing goalie in an end-of-season tournament.
Initially, the boy said that he enjoyed the fact that everyone liked him so much for being such a great goalie. However, it's clear that he soon began worrying that peers and coaches wouldn't like him if he didn't perform up to expectations.
When parents have talented or successful athletes who struggle with high expectations, they need to get to the root of what's upsetting or worrying their athletes. First of all, help the kids identify their own high expectations.
The athlete might say, "If I let my team down, nobody will like me." Or the child might say, "If I make a mistake, I screw up the game for everyone." Be sure to openly discuss athletes' fears or anxieties.
In most cases, we've discovered that kids in this position likely are afraid of failing or afraid of losing their peers' or coaches' approval. They may also be perfectionists who think they shouldn't
make mistakes.
Often, athletes' expectations are unrealistic. The athletes may feel as if they must win the game for everyone. Or they may feel as if they are not allowed to make any mistakes. These unrealistic expectations can undermine an athlete's confidence.
Discuss these expectations with your sports kids and help them understand that they shouldn't expect so much of themselves. You might remind them that no one is perfect. Tell them that people
will like even if they make mistakes.
Some kids are more open about discussing their feelings than others. With kids who are less likely to open up, be on the lookout for the moments during the day when they're more likely to share their feelings. Sometimes this is when you pick them up from school; sometimes it's just before they go to bed.
Want to learn more about how to create confidence and success in your young athlete? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program by clicking here!
You'll learn:
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225/407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Chris's problem: The boy feels so pressured to perform that he recently pretended to be sick to avoid playing goalie in an end-of-season tournament.
Initially, the boy said that he enjoyed the fact that everyone liked him so much for being such a great goalie. However, it's clear that he soon began worrying that peers and coaches wouldn't like him if he didn't perform up to expectations.
When parents have talented or successful athletes who struggle with high expectations, they need to get to the root of what's upsetting or worrying their athletes. First of all, help the kids identify their own high expectations.
The athlete might say, "If I let my team down, nobody will like me." Or the child might say, "If I make a mistake, I screw up the game for everyone." Be sure to openly discuss athletes' fears or anxieties.
In most cases, we've discovered that kids in this position likely are afraid of failing or afraid of losing their peers' or coaches' approval. They may also be perfectionists who think they shouldn't
make mistakes.
Often, athletes' expectations are unrealistic. The athletes may feel as if they must win the game for everyone. Or they may feel as if they are not allowed to make any mistakes. These unrealistic expectations can undermine an athlete's confidence.
Discuss these expectations with your sports kids and help them understand that they shouldn't expect so much of themselves. You might remind them that no one is perfect. Tell them that people
will like even if they make mistakes.
Some kids are more open about discussing their feelings than others. With kids who are less likely to open up, be on the lookout for the moments during the day when they're more likely to share their feelings. Sometimes this is when you pick them up from school; sometimes it's just before they go to bed.
Want to learn more about how to create confidence and success in your young athlete? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program by clicking here!
You'll learn:
- How much pressure is too much pressure
- How to communicate with your young athlete
- How parents can instill confidence in young athletes
- How to prepare young athletes for game day
- How to cope with your young athlete's fear of failure
And other important tips for sports parents!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes
with a neat bonus that helps parents act and say the right
things before a game or competition
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225/407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Monday, September 17, 2007
Helping Young Athletes Trust in Their Skills
Do your sports kids excel in practice, but freeze up in competition? Do they have a hard time just being spontaneous and “free” when they compete? If so, you might need to help your child trust his or her athletic ability...
Freezing up in competition is a common challenge for young athletes. Some kids and teens love to practice and improve, but when it comes to competing, they suddenly don’t trust in their own skills and or have confidence in their abilities.
All young athletes face a lack of trust and confidence in their skills from time to time.
Maybe they’re new to a particular sport. Maybe they’re trying to learn a brand new skill and haven’t quite gotten it yet. Perhaps they’re perfectionists and feel that their performance isn’t “perfect” enough. They may also be afraid of making mistakes, so they play or compete tentatively.
Why should kids trust in their skills and abilities?
If they believe in their ability to execute a skill successfully, they’ll feel more confident. And more confidence will lead to more trust. That’s crucial to success and happiness in sports. In order to trust, athletes need to let go of conscious control—of their motor skills, for example. They must be able to perform spontaneously and intuitively.
As parents and coaches, there’s lots you can do to help young athletes learn to compete with trust and freedom.
First of all, look at your own behavior. Do you:
>>Ask your child to focus on proper or perfect form during the game?
>>Encourage your child to try to be perfect when performing?
>>Over coach your child right before game time?
>>Introduce a different method than the coach’s and confuse your child?
Instead, you need to:
>Help kids trust their skills on game day
>Help young athletes set goals
>Guide sports kids who are dealing with difficult feelings and much more!
Hop over to our web site to snag your copy:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
Freezing up in competition is a common challenge for young athletes. Some kids and teens love to practice and improve, but when it comes to competing, they suddenly don’t trust in their own skills and or have confidence in their abilities.
All young athletes face a lack of trust and confidence in their skills from time to time.
Maybe they’re new to a particular sport. Maybe they’re trying to learn a brand new skill and haven’t quite gotten it yet. Perhaps they’re perfectionists and feel that their performance isn’t “perfect” enough. They may also be afraid of making mistakes, so they play or compete tentatively.
Why should kids trust in their skills and abilities?
If they believe in their ability to execute a skill successfully, they’ll feel more confident. And more confidence will lead to more trust. That’s crucial to success and happiness in sports. In order to trust, athletes need to let go of conscious control—of their motor skills, for example. They must be able to perform spontaneously and intuitively.
As parents and coaches, there’s lots you can do to help young athletes learn to compete with trust and freedom.
First of all, look at your own behavior. Do you:
>>Ask your child to focus on proper or perfect form during the game?
>>Encourage your child to try to be perfect when performing?
>>Over coach your child right before game time?
>>Introduce a different method than the coach’s and confuse your child?
Instead, you need to:
- Help your young athletes leave practice on the practice field, and learn to trust in their abilities.
- Help them switch into an athletic, “let it happen” mindset in competition. Tell them to react intuitively, to keep it simple: See the ball and hit it.
- Help them think of ways to perform in the here-and-now. How can they get the job done without worrying about or analyzing how to get the job done?
- Help them accept that they can’t perform perfectly.
Want to learn more about how to help kids improve their performance, trust and confidence?
Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program....
You’ll learn how to:
>Instill a confident mindset in your young athletes
>Help kids trust their skills on game day
>Help young athletes set goals
>Guide sports kids who are dealing with difficult feelings and much more!
Hop over to our web site to snag your copy:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
Friday, September 7, 2007
Keeping Young Athletes from Dropping Out
Did you know that 75% of all young athletes drop out of sports by the time they are 13? They drop out because taking part in youth sports is no longer enjoyable for them.
What factors might lead young athletes to drop out? First of all, they might be playing for the wrong reasons—because a parent or coach wants them to play. Ultimately, playing to make someone else happy doesn't make the athlete happy.
Second, they may feel too much pressure to perform. When kids feel too much pressure, they often under-perform. Their confidence and happiness may sink.
Third, peers, parents and coaches may expect too much of young athletes—especially talented athletes. High expectations can undermine athletes' confidence and happiness.
To ensure your young athletes continue to enjoy sports, make sure they're playing because they want to play. Let your young athletes lead you. If all they want to do is play recreationally, let them do just that.
Don't push them to try out for higher levels of competition if they're mostly interested in playing for fun with friends. If you push them, your efforts may backfire and your kids may drop out of sports. Kids sometimes thrive when they can develop confidence at lower levels.
In addition, don't focus too much on winning. Winning may be fun for parents. But it's not always what's most fun for kids. Keep the long-term benefits of sports participation in mind. By taking part in athletics, kids learn important life skills such as sportsmanship, teamwork, and coping with adversity. They also stay fit and healthy.
Check your own motivations. Do you want your kids to play sports to win scholarships or to succeed in ways that you failed to succeed? Don't assume your athletes have the same goals or motivations that you have about sports.
Be a good cheerleader. Be positive and supportive of your young athletes' team and coaches. Find ways to help out the team. You can be a team parent or sign up to bring snacks, for example. While you're being supportive, be sure to keep your own coaching to a minimum. Leave the coaching to the coach.
Want to learn more about how to ensure kids stay in the game for as long as possible? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook and CD program. Nearly every section gives you important tips about how to ensure your kids enjoy sports for now and many years to come. Specifically, the workbook/CD program addresses:
*How to communicate with your young athletes
*How to help your athletes establish appropriate goals
*Providing positive motivation for your athletes
*How to instill a confident mindset in your sports kids
*Helping kids deal with competitive pressure
*Providing kids with positive support after defeat
**And much more!
Hop over to our web site to learn more how to help sports kids improve confidence and success!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
What factors might lead young athletes to drop out? First of all, they might be playing for the wrong reasons—because a parent or coach wants them to play. Ultimately, playing to make someone else happy doesn't make the athlete happy.
Second, they may feel too much pressure to perform. When kids feel too much pressure, they often under-perform. Their confidence and happiness may sink.
Third, peers, parents and coaches may expect too much of young athletes—especially talented athletes. High expectations can undermine athletes' confidence and happiness.
To ensure your young athletes continue to enjoy sports, make sure they're playing because they want to play. Let your young athletes lead you. If all they want to do is play recreationally, let them do just that.
Don't push them to try out for higher levels of competition if they're mostly interested in playing for fun with friends. If you push them, your efforts may backfire and your kids may drop out of sports. Kids sometimes thrive when they can develop confidence at lower levels.
In addition, don't focus too much on winning. Winning may be fun for parents. But it's not always what's most fun for kids. Keep the long-term benefits of sports participation in mind. By taking part in athletics, kids learn important life skills such as sportsmanship, teamwork, and coping with adversity. They also stay fit and healthy.
Check your own motivations. Do you want your kids to play sports to win scholarships or to succeed in ways that you failed to succeed? Don't assume your athletes have the same goals or motivations that you have about sports.
Be a good cheerleader. Be positive and supportive of your young athletes' team and coaches. Find ways to help out the team. You can be a team parent or sign up to bring snacks, for example. While you're being supportive, be sure to keep your own coaching to a minimum. Leave the coaching to the coach.
Want to learn more about how to ensure kids stay in the game for as long as possible? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook and CD program. Nearly every section gives you important tips about how to ensure your kids enjoy sports for now and many years to come. Specifically, the workbook/CD program addresses:
*How to communicate with your young athletes
*How to help your athletes establish appropriate goals
*Providing positive motivation for your athletes
*How to instill a confident mindset in your sports kids
*Helping kids deal with competitive pressure
*Providing kids with positive support after defeat
**And much more!
Hop over to our web site to learn more how to help sports kids improve confidence and success!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Helping Perfectionistic Sports Kids
Often, we hear from parents who worry about young athletes who are too hard on themselves. You’re likely familiar with these types of athletes. They’re perfectionists or perfectionistic.
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.
On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.
It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.
If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.
Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?
One important task for you as parent....
Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.
Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”
You’ll also learn how to:
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.
On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.
It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.
If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.
Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?
One important task for you as parent....
Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.
Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”
You’ll also learn how to:
- Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
- Motivate kids to master their sport
- Help kids feel confident in athletics
- Help young athletes not worry about what everyone thinks
- Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
- Cope with kids’ difficult or negative coaches
- Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. Do you and your child want to learn how to overcome perfectionism, fear of failure, and perform up to one's potential? You might want to check out our new workbook to help sports kids
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Thursday, April 5, 2007
How to Boost Kids' Sports Confidence
We often see kids who excel in practice, but freeze up during games. This can be frustrating and confusing for parents and coaches. What's going on in the young athlete's mind and what can sports parents and coaches do about it?
First, sports parents and coaches should help young athletes understand that they create their own sports confidence mindset. If kids begin a game needing immediate results (such as getting the first hit or basket of the game), they're hurting their confidence.
It is critical to remind young athletes that they've been practicing to develop confidence for many years. Don't let them lose their hard-earned confidence by worrying about achieving immediate results!
What's more, athletes need to understand that they'll be more successful if they assume full responsibility for their own confidence before competition begins. This is why it's called self-confidence!
Often, athletes take a back seat approach and wait until they make a couple of plays before they decide how confident they should feel.
If this is how your young athlete thinks, they need positive results before they feel confident. In other words, they need to make that great hit or basket before they can begin to feel confident.
If this is true of the young athletes in your life, you can help. Tell them they need to change how they think before entering competition. Tell them not to worry about making that first hit, goal or basket right away!
Instead, they should draw on their many successes even before the game or competition begins.
We suggest that you learn how to boost your child’s confidence. And we can help. Go check out our “Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook/CD program. You'll also discover:
* How to communicate with your young athletes.
* How to help them establish appropriate goals.
* How to help them trust their skills on game day.
* How to help them cope with competitive pressure.
* And other tips!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. For more ideas about how to boost kids' confidence in sports,
check out our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents.
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
© 2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
First, sports parents and coaches should help young athletes understand that they create their own sports confidence mindset. If kids begin a game needing immediate results (such as getting the first hit or basket of the game), they're hurting their confidence.
It is critical to remind young athletes that they've been practicing to develop confidence for many years. Don't let them lose their hard-earned confidence by worrying about achieving immediate results!
What's more, athletes need to understand that they'll be more successful if they assume full responsibility for their own confidence before competition begins. This is why it's called self-confidence!
Often, athletes take a back seat approach and wait until they make a couple of plays before they decide how confident they should feel.
If this is how your young athlete thinks, they need positive results before they feel confident. In other words, they need to make that great hit or basket before they can begin to feel confident.
If this is true of the young athletes in your life, you can help. Tell them they need to change how they think before entering competition. Tell them not to worry about making that first hit, goal or basket right away!
Instead, they should draw on their many successes even before the game or competition begins.
We suggest that you learn how to boost your child’s confidence. And we can help. Go check out our “Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook/CD program. You'll also discover:
* How to communicate with your young athletes.
* How to help them establish appropriate goals.
* How to help them trust their skills on game day.
* How to help them cope with competitive pressure.
* And other tips!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. For more ideas about how to boost kids' confidence in sports,
check out our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents.
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
© 2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Monday, March 19, 2007
Sports Parents Should Be "Team Players" Too
My sister, Lisa and I recently interviewed a successful youth sports coach about one of his biggest challenges. He told us how to help parents understand what to say to young athletes during the trip home after a game.
Coach Brian Gardner of St. Louis, Missouri has coached ice hockey for 10 years. He even led one team of 11 to 12-year-olds to a national championship.
Some of Gardner's players' parents drive for as long as 1.5 hours to get their kids to the ice rink. That's a long time for parents to be alone with their kids after a game, says Gardner. Especially if they spend that time talking about the players' performance.
"A lot of times, parents think more about their kids' success than the whole team," says Gardner. The result: They give too much instruction, which can undo Coach Gardner's lessons and coaching system.
"At the least harmful level, the parents second guess some of the systems we put in place, such as a power play system. They say 'You should do this, not what Coach says," Gardner relates.
On a more harmful level, parents tell their kids that they played badly. Out of frustration, parents sometimes even suggest to kids they should consider giving up the sport.
This behavior, while well-meaning, is counter-productive to Coach Gardner's efforts and not helpful for the players, he says.
So, what exactly is good communication with a young athlete after a game? (As sports parents who have made lots of mistakes, we know this isn't an easy question).
First of all, it's critical to support the coach, as we discuss in our new youth sports workbook/CD program. You'll only confuse your child by disagreeing with the coach or offering counterproductive coaching.
Second, you need to encourage your child as often as possible. Even if your athlete's team lost, you can find something positive to say about his or her attitude, effort or about two or three positive plays. As a sports parent, your goal is to build your child's confidence—not tear it down.
You'll learn lots more about how to build your young athlete's confidence in our new workbook program, "The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids' Success in Sports."
You'll learn how to improve your young athlete's composure and focus. You'll discover just what to do and say before and after games—and why it's so important to follow our strategies.
You'll learn what to do when your young athletes chokes, get upset about mistakes, worry what others think of them or believe the coach favors everyone but them!
***************************************
'As parents, we supply our sports kids with all
the right equipment and coaches. But just having
the right mindset using sports psychology is the
least expensive and most effective investment in
them.'
~Julia Dreyer,sports mom to two champion equestrians
*****************************************
Go read more about our workbook today:
The Ultimate Sports Parent - Help Your Kid in Sports Improve Confidence
Thanks,
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. You can listen to the interview with Brian and many others like it by visiting the podcast section of our website:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Coach Brian Gardner of St. Louis, Missouri has coached ice hockey for 10 years. He even led one team of 11 to 12-year-olds to a national championship.
Some of Gardner's players' parents drive for as long as 1.5 hours to get their kids to the ice rink. That's a long time for parents to be alone with their kids after a game, says Gardner. Especially if they spend that time talking about the players' performance.
"A lot of times, parents think more about their kids' success than the whole team," says Gardner. The result: They give too much instruction, which can undo Coach Gardner's lessons and coaching system.
"At the least harmful level, the parents second guess some of the systems we put in place, such as a power play system. They say 'You should do this, not what Coach says," Gardner relates.
On a more harmful level, parents tell their kids that they played badly. Out of frustration, parents sometimes even suggest to kids they should consider giving up the sport.
This behavior, while well-meaning, is counter-productive to Coach Gardner's efforts and not helpful for the players, he says.
So, what exactly is good communication with a young athlete after a game? (As sports parents who have made lots of mistakes, we know this isn't an easy question).
First of all, it's critical to support the coach, as we discuss in our new youth sports workbook/CD program. You'll only confuse your child by disagreeing with the coach or offering counterproductive coaching.
Second, you need to encourage your child as often as possible. Even if your athlete's team lost, you can find something positive to say about his or her attitude, effort or about two or three positive plays. As a sports parent, your goal is to build your child's confidence—not tear it down.
You'll learn lots more about how to build your young athlete's confidence in our new workbook program, "The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids' Success in Sports."
You'll learn how to improve your young athlete's composure and focus. You'll discover just what to do and say before and after games—and why it's so important to follow our strategies.
You'll learn what to do when your young athletes chokes, get upset about mistakes, worry what others think of them or believe the coach favors everyone but them!
***************************************
'As parents, we supply our sports kids with all
the right equipment and coaches. But just having
the right mindset using sports psychology is the
least expensive and most effective investment in
them.'
~Julia Dreyer,sports mom to two champion equestrians
*****************************************
Go read more about our workbook today:
The Ultimate Sports Parent - Help Your Kid in Sports Improve Confidence
Thanks,
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. You can listen to the interview with Brian and many others like it by visiting the podcast section of our website:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Youth Sports Tips: How Perfectionism Holds Back Kids in Sports
One of the biggest challenges for young athletes today: They try to be too perfect with their performance. They try to have the perfect game or match.
Don't get us wrong. There are some advantages to perfectionism. Perfectionist kids have a strong work ethic, are committed to goals, and are willing to learn and improve. These great traits often disguise this 'mental roadblock' to success.
Kids who try to be too perfect can undermine their performance in many ways. They often expect too much of themselves, are afraid of failing, feel anxious, are frustrated, and worry too much about results. This can stifle their talent.
For example, a perfectionist athlete unknowingly embraces very high expectations. When he does not achieve his expectations, he feels frustrated and thinks he's failed.
Below is a recent example from a baseball dad about his son:
***********************************************
'My son is a good athlete who has always had good success.
However, he seems to focus on the negative, not the positive.
If he is practicing hitting, and doesn't make good contact,
after about three swings I hear 'I stink.' Unfortunately,
things tend to go down hill from there.'
~Baseball Dad
***********************************************
Perfectionists think that maintaining strict expectations is a good thing. They believe that the only other option is to accept mediocrity, which they are not willing to do.
But we have a different take on this:
If kids cannot reach their expectations, then become frustrated and lose their composure, they won't achieve their full potential in sports.
In our new program designed just for sports parents, we teach you how to help your child cope with high expectations and perfectionism. You also learn 13 other important mental game lessons designed to help ensure kids' success in sports.
Our new program, 'The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids' Success in Sports' teaches you to help your child perform without the burden of expectations and perfectionism.
We suggest that you grab your copy today at our special introductory price. But don't delay. The first printing will fly off the shelves when we release this program to the general public.
Read more about how to become The Ultimate Sports Parent:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
THE ULTIMATE SPORTS PARENT by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
P.S. Stop guessing what to say to your child to boost her confidence and success. We teach you the 14 most important sports parenting lessons with our easy-to-follow workbook and CD program. Plus, you get four special bonuses all for a small investment of $89.00 for a limited time only!
Learn how sports parents can encourage their kids in sports
Don't get us wrong. There are some advantages to perfectionism. Perfectionist kids have a strong work ethic, are committed to goals, and are willing to learn and improve. These great traits often disguise this 'mental roadblock' to success.
Kids who try to be too perfect can undermine their performance in many ways. They often expect too much of themselves, are afraid of failing, feel anxious, are frustrated, and worry too much about results. This can stifle their talent.
For example, a perfectionist athlete unknowingly embraces very high expectations. When he does not achieve his expectations, he feels frustrated and thinks he's failed.
Below is a recent example from a baseball dad about his son:
***********************************************
'My son is a good athlete who has always had good success.
However, he seems to focus on the negative, not the positive.
If he is practicing hitting, and doesn't make good contact,
after about three swings I hear 'I stink.' Unfortunately,
things tend to go down hill from there.'
~Baseball Dad
***********************************************
Perfectionists think that maintaining strict expectations is a good thing. They believe that the only other option is to accept mediocrity, which they are not willing to do.
But we have a different take on this:
If kids cannot reach their expectations, then become frustrated and lose their composure, they won't achieve their full potential in sports.
In our new program designed just for sports parents, we teach you how to help your child cope with high expectations and perfectionism. You also learn 13 other important mental game lessons designed to help ensure kids' success in sports.
Our new program, 'The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids' Success in Sports' teaches you to help your child perform without the burden of expectations and perfectionism.
We suggest that you grab your copy today at our special introductory price. But don't delay. The first printing will fly off the shelves when we release this program to the general public.
Read more about how to become The Ultimate Sports Parent:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
THE ULTIMATE SPORTS PARENT by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
P.S. Stop guessing what to say to your child to boost her confidence and success. We teach you the 14 most important sports parenting lessons with our easy-to-follow workbook and CD program. Plus, you get four special bonuses all for a small investment of $89.00 for a limited time only!
Learn how sports parents can encourage their kids in sports
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