Using Practice Time to Boost Young Athletes’ Confidence

By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn

Just how can practices improve young athletes’ confidence? And what does this mean for you as a sports parent?

Longtime coach Marty Schupak, founder of Youth Sports Club, has lots to say about how efficient, engaging practices can boost kids’ confidence in sports.

Schupak’s journey into coaching began when his son, a baseball player, was asked by his coach to endure 2.5 hours’ of boring batting practices. Schupak decided to try his hand at coaching—and invented a number of creative ways to keep kids engaged, successful, and feeling good about themselves.

For example, he noticed that baseball players who are 6 years old are far ahead of the 5-year-olds who have a year’s experience under their belts. “It’s hard for 5-year-olds to feel successful,” he says.

Schupak came up with an idea: How about the 5-year-olds begin with batting a kickball off a batting tee? “This way, the kids experience more success and gain confidence. After hitting a kickball, the kids can move to a softball,” he says.

He also started designing practices that mixed skills-building drills with “fun” drills. During a “fun” drill, 11- or 12-year-olds might hit a kickball off a batting tee, then run the bases.

If kids are having fun and experiencing success, they’re more likely to feel confident, gain satisfaction, and improve their performance.

Another example: If coaches can ensure the less experienced or struggling players interact in positive ways with the stronger players during practice (and games), they’ll likely feel more confident.

Following are additional ways parents and coaches can help build kids’ confidence during practice time:

• Parents shouldn’t over-coach their kids by filling their minds with technical details. This behavior might conflict with the coach and distract young athletes.


• When kids feel supported by parents and coaches, they’re more relaxed and more likely to play intuitively, and learn and grow. If they’re tense, they play mechanically and tentatively and are less likely to grow as athletes.


• Kids need to learn how to take their “practice” game to the competitive realm. Sometimes kids are stars in practice, but freeze up during competition because the real game starts to take on more meaning to athletes.


• Be sure to evaluate a coach before placing your child on a team. Find a coach who runs a fun and engaging practice. You should avoid a coach who bores kids and sinks their confidence during practice time. Practices can make or break a kid’s interest in sports! A simple test is to examine the faces of the athletes to see if they are having fun.

Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

Negative Feedback: A Confidence Buster for Young Athletes

By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn

Mike, a sports dad to an 11-year-old who plays high-level baseball, is worried about his son’s confidence. Jim’s baseball coach often singles Jim out for making mistakes. As a result, the kids on the team also comment when Jim makes mistakes.

Mike says Jim doesn’t mind so much when the coach singles him out. But Jim is not so happy when the other kids pick up on this negativity and start offering their two cents about his mistakes.

This situation can be a confidence buster for young athletes if their parents don’t handle it well.

Young athletes often worry about what their peers think of them. If they worry too much, it can undermine their confidence and performance. They’ll often start playing tentatively. They’ll be afraid to take risks. They’ll be afraid of making more mistakes.

Mike took a smart approach: He reminded Jim that he generally contributes a lot to the team, and the coach and kids likely expect a lot from him.

He suggested that Jim find ways to turn this negative into a positive: Mike told Jim to take the feedback and use it as motivation to work harder.

When sports parents struggle with this issue, they should also consider having a frank conversation with the coach. If you do this, be sure to wait until after a game. Or make an appointment to see the coach. Don’t approach the coach at half-time during a game if you are upset.

Wait to cool off before you sit down with the coach. Be sure to be as positive as possible. You might say, “I really appreciate all that you’re doing for the kids on these teams. I have one issue I’d like to discuss with you. I think it hurts my son’s confidence when you single him out for criticism.”

In addition, it’s important for sports parents to stress that confidence comes from within. It’s based on what they can control—how hard they work in practice, their motivation and their past successes. It shouldn’t be based on what they can’t control—the weather, the size of the ball they’re playing withopponents the team is playing against, or what others might be saying about them.

Young athletes need to focus on what they do well and try to push out of their minds worries about what others think of them.

What’s more, you can remind your young athletes that it’s natural to make mistakes in sports. No one is perfect. In fact, athletes learn from mistakes.
You’ll learn:

*How to talk to a coach

*When to find a new coach

*How to motivate kids to do their best

*How to communicate with your young athletes

*How to prepare kids for game day

*How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks

*And much more!

Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com

How to Boost Kids' Sports Confidence

We often see kids who excel in practice, but freeze up during games. This can be frustrating and confusing for parents and coaches. What's going on in the young athlete's mind and what can sports parents and coaches do about it?

First, sports parents and coaches should help young athletes understand that they create their own sports confidence mindset. If kids begin a game needing immediate results (such as getting the first hit or basket of the game), they're hurting their confidence.

It is critical to remind young athletes that they've been practicing to develop confidence for many years. Don't let them lose their hard-earned confidence by worrying about achieving immediate results!

What's more, athletes need to understand that they'll be more successful if they assume full responsibility for their own confidence before competition begins. This is why it's called self-confidence!

Often, athletes take a back seat approach and wait until they make a couple of plays before they decide how confident they should feel.

If this is how your young athlete thinks, they need positive results before they feel confident. In other words, they need to make that great hit or basket before they can begin to feel confident.

If this is true of the young athletes in your life, you can help. Tell them they need to change how they think before entering competition. Tell them not to worry about making that first hit, goal or basket right away!

Instead, they should draw on their many successes even before the game or competition begins.

We suggest that you learn how to boost your child’s confidence. And we can help. Go check out our “Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook/CD program. You'll also discover:

* How to communicate with your young athletes.
* How to help them establish appropriate goals.
* How to help them trust their skills on game day.
* How to help them cope with competitive pressure.
* And other tips!

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author

P.S. For more ideas about how to boost kids' confidence in sports,
check out our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents.
http://youthsportspsychology.com/

© 2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

Sports Parents Should Be "Team Players" Too

My sister, Lisa and I recently interviewed a successful youth sports coach about one of his biggest challenges. He told us how to help parents understand what to say to young athletes during the trip home after a game.

Coach Brian Gardner of St. Louis, Missouri has coached ice hockey for 10 years. He even led one team of 11 to 12-year-olds to a national championship.

Some of Gardner's players' parents drive for as long as 1.5 hours to get their kids to the ice rink. That's a long time for parents to be alone with their kids after a game, says Gardner. Especially if they spend that time talking about the players' performance.

"A lot of times, parents think more about their kids' success than the whole team," says Gardner. The result: They give too much instruction, which can undo Coach Gardner's lessons and coaching system.

"At the least harmful level, the parents second guess some of the systems we put in place, such as a power play system. They say 'You should do this, not what Coach says," Gardner relates.

On a more harmful level, parents tell their kids that they played badly. Out of frustration, parents sometimes even suggest to kids they should consider giving up the sport.

This behavior, while well-meaning, is counter-productive to Coach Gardner's efforts and not helpful for the players, he says.

So, what exactly is good communication with a young athlete after a game? (As sports parents who have made lots of mistakes, we know this isn't an easy question).

First of all, it's critical to support the coach, as we discuss in our new youth sports workbook/CD program. You'll only confuse your child by disagreeing with the coach or offering counterproductive coaching.

Second, you need to encourage your child as often as possible. Even if your athlete's team lost, you can find something positive to say about his or her attitude, effort or about two or three positive plays. As a sports parent, your goal is to build your child's confidence—not tear it down.

You'll learn lots more about how to build your young athlete's confidence in our new workbook program, "The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids' Success in Sports."

You'll learn how to improve your young athlete's composure and focus. You'll discover just what to do and say before and after games—and why it's so important to follow our strategies.

You'll learn what to do when your young athletes chokes, get upset about mistakes, worry what others think of them or believe the coach favors everyone but them!

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'As parents, we supply our sports kids with all
the right equipment and coaches. But just having
the right mindset using sports psychology is the
least expensive and most effective investment in
them.'
~Julia Dreyer,sports mom to two champion equestrians
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Go read more about our workbook today:
The Ultimate Sports Parent - Help Your Kid in Sports Improve Confidence

Thanks,

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert

P.S. You can listen to the interview with Brian and many others like it by visiting the podcast section of our website:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/