By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
How do you help a young athlete whose dreams in sports are undermined by others’ jealousy?
In the case of Lela’s son, “Frank,” it’s a big challenge. Frank is a high school student and Olympic-caliber athlete in track. He is ranked nationally for his event and age group.
Frank’s problem: He lives in a very small town where there’s only one track coach, a coach whose son also takes part in track. Others are jealous of Frank’s talents and his high goals in sports.
The track coach tries to derail Frank’s efforts to become an Olympic athlete, refusing to give him extra gym time to work out. The coach told him he should simply focus on high school sports, rather than follow his dream of training for the Olympics.
What’s more, the basketball and football coaches in this small town think they “own” this young man’s talent. They’re constantly pressuring him to play on their teams instead of following his dream. They want to use his talent to help their teams succeed.
How can sports parents deal with such a dilemma?
Lela and other sports parents should encourage their young athletes to follow their dreams. Lela needs to help her son ignore the distractions created by others’ jealousy and focus on doing what he loves. That means training, competing and continuing to improve.
Lela needs to help Frank tune out the worries created by others’ opposition to his dream. He needs to focus on the tasks he needs to achieve his goals. An athlete’s dreams can quickly sink when non-believers beat him up. His confidence can take a hit.
In addition, if Frank doesn’t want to play football or basketball, he should not play. His talent is his own—not his small town’s.
Successful athletes are able to keep their goals and dreams alive in the face of criticism from others. Sometimes an athlete will give in to the pressure he feels from parents, coaches, and friends. In this case, the athlete competes to satisfy others instead of following his dreams.
Parents need to ensure their kids take part in sports for the right reasons. Young athletes should be genuinely self-motivated to practice and compete in sports.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com
Showing posts with label youth sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label youth sports. Show all posts
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Using Practice Time to Boost Young Athletes’ Confidence
By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
Just how can practices improve young athletes’ confidence? And what does this mean for you as a sports parent?
Longtime coach Marty Schupak, founder of Youth Sports Club, has lots to say about how efficient, engaging practices can boost kids’ confidence in sports.
Schupak’s journey into coaching began when his son, a baseball player, was asked by his coach to endure 2.5 hours’ of boring batting practices. Schupak decided to try his hand at coaching—and invented a number of creative ways to keep kids engaged, successful, and feeling good about themselves.
For example, he noticed that baseball players who are 6 years old are far ahead of the 5-year-olds who have a year’s experience under their belts. “It’s hard for 5-year-olds to feel successful,” he says.
Schupak came up with an idea: How about the 5-year-olds begin with batting a kickball off a batting tee? “This way, the kids experience more success and gain confidence. After hitting a kickball, the kids can move to a softball,” he says.
He also started designing practices that mixed skills-building drills with “fun” drills. During a “fun” drill, 11- or 12-year-olds might hit a kickball off a batting tee, then run the bases.
If kids are having fun and experiencing success, they’re more likely to feel confident, gain satisfaction, and improve their performance.
Another example: If coaches can ensure the less experienced or struggling players interact in positive ways with the stronger players during practice (and games), they’ll likely feel more confident.
Following are additional ways parents and coaches can help build kids’ confidence during practice time:
Just how can practices improve young athletes’ confidence? And what does this mean for you as a sports parent?
Longtime coach Marty Schupak, founder of Youth Sports Club, has lots to say about how efficient, engaging practices can boost kids’ confidence in sports.
Schupak’s journey into coaching began when his son, a baseball player, was asked by his coach to endure 2.5 hours’ of boring batting practices. Schupak decided to try his hand at coaching—and invented a number of creative ways to keep kids engaged, successful, and feeling good about themselves.
For example, he noticed that baseball players who are 6 years old are far ahead of the 5-year-olds who have a year’s experience under their belts. “It’s hard for 5-year-olds to feel successful,” he says.
Schupak came up with an idea: How about the 5-year-olds begin with batting a kickball off a batting tee? “This way, the kids experience more success and gain confidence. After hitting a kickball, the kids can move to a softball,” he says.
He also started designing practices that mixed skills-building drills with “fun” drills. During a “fun” drill, 11- or 12-year-olds might hit a kickball off a batting tee, then run the bases.
If kids are having fun and experiencing success, they’re more likely to feel confident, gain satisfaction, and improve their performance.
Another example: If coaches can ensure the less experienced or struggling players interact in positive ways with the stronger players during practice (and games), they’ll likely feel more confident.
Following are additional ways parents and coaches can help build kids’ confidence during practice time:
- Parents shouldn’t over-coach their kids by filling their minds with technical details. This behavior might conflict with the coach and distract young athletes.
- When kids feel supported by parents and coaches, they’re more relaxed and more likely to play intuitively, and learn and grow. If they’re tense, they play mechanically and tentatively and are less likely to grow as athletes.
- Kids need to learn how to take their “practice” game to the competitive realm. Sometimes kids are stars in practice, but freeze up during competition because the real game starts to take on more meaning to athletes.
- Be sure to evaluate a coach before placing your child on a team. Find a coach who runs a fun and engaging practice. You should avoid a coach who bores kids and sinks their confidence during practice time. Practices can make or break a kid’s interest in sports! A simple test is to examine the faces of the athletes to see if they are having fun.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Redefining Winning for Young Athletes
By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
Young athletes want to feel like winners—whether or not they’re always scoring and beating their opponents. Sports parents can help their kids feel good about their experiences simply by taking the focus off the “win.”
David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, says his organization wants to re-define the term “winning” in ways that provide important benefits to young athletes.
“Of course people want to win,” says Jacobson. “My organization advocates trying as hard as you can to win.
But there's more going on than finishing with the highest score. There are so many educational opportunities. For example, if you can put forth maximum effort, you become a winner.”
If coaches and sports parents can frame conversations in this fashion, kids don’t feel as nervous. “They are more likely to feel successful and be successful,” he says.
For example, let’s say your young athletes are outsized and outmatched. How can you help them feel like winners? Ask them to go into the game against a formidable opponent with an eye toward succeeding in small ways, says Jacobson.
Give young athletes specific objectives that help them attain excellence. For example, . in soccer, a coach might ask kids to try to nab every loose ball.
Even if the final score is 5-0 and your team loses, if you've gotten to every loose ball, you've won a small victory that imparts confidence to kids!
In sports psychology, we call this focusing on manageable objectives or small, easy-to-accomplish goals. Coaches and parents should ask kids to do this to help them focus on effort, rather than outcome.
When kids are too focused on results and wins, it's a huge distraction. It's harder for them to succeed and feel confidentfocus on the things they need to do to execute well in the present moment.
As a sports parent or youth coach, it's your job to help kids identify and focus on mini-objectives. Ask them to try and get aim for two rebounds in basketball, or to focus on making four out of six quality shots on goal. Change their mindset; help them enjoy the game more by focusing on the process and the fun!
You can also help build their confidence and success by consistently telling them mistakes are okay, says Jacobson.
“You have to impart the notion that mistakes are okay. The greatest success occurs if you make mistakes. You can't learn--or get to other side of envelope--if you don't push yourself and make mistakes,” he says.
For example, you're not learning as an ice skater unless you're falling down.
Not only do you need to tell kids mistakes are okay. You need to reward them for making them and use them as a learning opportunity.
"You want them to keep trying to be aggressive and willing to push the outside of the envelope," he says.
“Through positive reinforcement, tell the athlete at every turn, 'You didn't get the ball there, but you tried something new, and that's a step in the right direction. Great work,’” he explains.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com
Young athletes want to feel like winners—whether or not they’re always scoring and beating their opponents. Sports parents can help their kids feel good about their experiences simply by taking the focus off the “win.”
David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, says his organization wants to re-define the term “winning” in ways that provide important benefits to young athletes.
“Of course people want to win,” says Jacobson. “My organization advocates trying as hard as you can to win.
But there's more going on than finishing with the highest score. There are so many educational opportunities. For example, if you can put forth maximum effort, you become a winner.”
If coaches and sports parents can frame conversations in this fashion, kids don’t feel as nervous. “They are more likely to feel successful and be successful,” he says.
For example, let’s say your young athletes are outsized and outmatched. How can you help them feel like winners? Ask them to go into the game against a formidable opponent with an eye toward succeeding in small ways, says Jacobson.
Give young athletes specific objectives that help them attain excellence. For example, . in soccer, a coach might ask kids to try to nab every loose ball.
Even if the final score is 5-0 and your team loses, if you've gotten to every loose ball, you've won a small victory that imparts confidence to kids!
In sports psychology, we call this focusing on manageable objectives or small, easy-to-accomplish goals. Coaches and parents should ask kids to do this to help them focus on effort, rather than outcome.
When kids are too focused on results and wins, it's a huge distraction. It's harder for them to succeed and feel confidentfocus on the things they need to do to execute well in the present moment.
As a sports parent or youth coach, it's your job to help kids identify and focus on mini-objectives. Ask them to try and get aim for two rebounds in basketball, or to focus on making four out of six quality shots on goal. Change their mindset; help them enjoy the game more by focusing on the process and the fun!
You can also help build their confidence and success by consistently telling them mistakes are okay, says Jacobson.
“You have to impart the notion that mistakes are okay. The greatest success occurs if you make mistakes. You can't learn--or get to other side of envelope--if you don't push yourself and make mistakes,” he says.
For example, you're not learning as an ice skater unless you're falling down.
Not only do you need to tell kids mistakes are okay. You need to reward them for making them and use them as a learning opportunity.
"You want them to keep trying to be aggressive and willing to push the outside of the envelope," he says.
“Through positive reinforcement, tell the athlete at every turn, 'You didn't get the ball there, but you tried something new, and that's a step in the right direction. Great work,’” he explains.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Youth Sports: An Athlete’s "Emotional Tank"
By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
How can parents and coaches fill a young athlete’s “emotional tank?”
Coaches need to praise kids five times before they provide one piece of constructive criticism, says David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, based at Stanford University.
“We liken a child’s emotional tank to a car’s gas tank. When the tank is full, it runs well. When it’s drained, it doesn’t run well,” he explains.
To fill a child’s or teen’s tank, parents and coaches need to provide a steady flow of specific, truthful praise, Jacobson says. When you do this, sports kids are more confident. They’re also more open to criticism and more likely to listen to what the coach or parent has to say.
“When you’re praising, you’re creating a great feeling for the child so he or she wants to continue the work required to excel as an athlete and take away all the life lessons that sports has to offer,” he says.
It’s critical to build young athletes’ confidence by praising them. For many young athletes, confidence is fragile and wavers easily depending on their performance and feedback from parents and coaches. They’re less likely to feel confident if they make mistakes or lose a match and get criticized.
One of your goals is to help your child develop a more stable level of confidence. Help them through the bumps in the confidence roller coaster.
Here’s another way to fill your kids’ emotional tanks and boost their confidence: Teach them how to praise themselves. Help your kids create a confidence resume. It may include a fun practice, a past experience, a successful game, skills improvement or good coaching. Ask your kids to review their confidence resumes before competing.
To develop confidence, kids, should have a “highlight reel” in their heads just before a game, says Robert Troutwine, Ph.D., founder of Troutwine and Associates. That’s a mental image of their most amazing play, move or moment in sports. It’s an image of a play, move or moment that makes them feel on top of the world!
Remember: The last thing we want is for your young athletes to mentally rehearse bad plays, moves or moments in sports!
Why? Because they’ll be practicing the wrong things. They’ll allow self-doubt to creep into their minds. They’ll be totally distracted!
However, playing in their heads a highlight reel that’s a totally awesome moment will help them feel confident—it will give them the feeling they can and will succeed.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting www.youthsportspsychology.com.
How can parents and coaches fill a young athlete’s “emotional tank?”
Coaches need to praise kids five times before they provide one piece of constructive criticism, says David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, based at Stanford University.
“We liken a child’s emotional tank to a car’s gas tank. When the tank is full, it runs well. When it’s drained, it doesn’t run well,” he explains.
To fill a child’s or teen’s tank, parents and coaches need to provide a steady flow of specific, truthful praise, Jacobson says. When you do this, sports kids are more confident. They’re also more open to criticism and more likely to listen to what the coach or parent has to say.
“When you’re praising, you’re creating a great feeling for the child so he or she wants to continue the work required to excel as an athlete and take away all the life lessons that sports has to offer,” he says.
It’s critical to build young athletes’ confidence by praising them. For many young athletes, confidence is fragile and wavers easily depending on their performance and feedback from parents and coaches. They’re less likely to feel confident if they make mistakes or lose a match and get criticized.
One of your goals is to help your child develop a more stable level of confidence. Help them through the bumps in the confidence roller coaster.
Here’s another way to fill your kids’ emotional tanks and boost their confidence: Teach them how to praise themselves. Help your kids create a confidence resume. It may include a fun practice, a past experience, a successful game, skills improvement or good coaching. Ask your kids to review their confidence resumes before competing.
To develop confidence, kids, should have a “highlight reel” in their heads just before a game, says Robert Troutwine, Ph.D., founder of Troutwine and Associates. That’s a mental image of their most amazing play, move or moment in sports. It’s an image of a play, move or moment that makes them feel on top of the world!
Remember: The last thing we want is for your young athletes to mentally rehearse bad plays, moves or moments in sports!
Why? Because they’ll be practicing the wrong things. They’ll allow self-doubt to creep into their minds. They’ll be totally distracted!
However, playing in their heads a highlight reel that’s a totally awesome moment will help them feel confident—it will give them the feeling they can and will succeed.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting www.youthsportspsychology.com.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Talented Kid Athletes and High Expectations
Chris, the sports mom of an 8-year-old athlete, faces a difficult dilemma: Her son is a talented goalie in hockey, but he's so good that his team mates and coaches rely on him.
Chris's problem: The boy feels so pressured to perform that he recently pretended to be sick to avoid playing goalie in an end-of-season tournament.
Initially, the boy said that he enjoyed the fact that everyone liked him so much for being such a great goalie. However, it's clear that he soon began worrying that peers and coaches wouldn't like him if he didn't perform up to expectations.
When parents have talented or successful athletes who struggle with high expectations, they need to get to the root of what's upsetting or worrying their athletes. First of all, help the kids identify their own high expectations.
The athlete might say, "If I let my team down, nobody will like me." Or the child might say, "If I make a mistake, I screw up the game for everyone." Be sure to openly discuss athletes' fears or anxieties.
In most cases, we've discovered that kids in this position likely are afraid of failing or afraid of losing their peers' or coaches' approval. They may also be perfectionists who think they shouldn't
make mistakes.
Often, athletes' expectations are unrealistic. The athletes may feel as if they must win the game for everyone. Or they may feel as if they are not allowed to make any mistakes. These unrealistic expectations can undermine an athlete's confidence.
Discuss these expectations with your sports kids and help them understand that they shouldn't expect so much of themselves. You might remind them that no one is perfect. Tell them that people
will like even if they make mistakes.
Some kids are more open about discussing their feelings than others. With kids who are less likely to open up, be on the lookout for the moments during the day when they're more likely to share their feelings. Sometimes this is when you pick them up from school; sometimes it's just before they go to bed.
Want to learn more about how to create confidence and success in your young athlete? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program by clicking here!
You'll learn:
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225/407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Chris's problem: The boy feels so pressured to perform that he recently pretended to be sick to avoid playing goalie in an end-of-season tournament.
Initially, the boy said that he enjoyed the fact that everyone liked him so much for being such a great goalie. However, it's clear that he soon began worrying that peers and coaches wouldn't like him if he didn't perform up to expectations.
When parents have talented or successful athletes who struggle with high expectations, they need to get to the root of what's upsetting or worrying their athletes. First of all, help the kids identify their own high expectations.
The athlete might say, "If I let my team down, nobody will like me." Or the child might say, "If I make a mistake, I screw up the game for everyone." Be sure to openly discuss athletes' fears or anxieties.
In most cases, we've discovered that kids in this position likely are afraid of failing or afraid of losing their peers' or coaches' approval. They may also be perfectionists who think they shouldn't
make mistakes.
Often, athletes' expectations are unrealistic. The athletes may feel as if they must win the game for everyone. Or they may feel as if they are not allowed to make any mistakes. These unrealistic expectations can undermine an athlete's confidence.
Discuss these expectations with your sports kids and help them understand that they shouldn't expect so much of themselves. You might remind them that no one is perfect. Tell them that people
will like even if they make mistakes.
Some kids are more open about discussing their feelings than others. With kids who are less likely to open up, be on the lookout for the moments during the day when they're more likely to share their feelings. Sometimes this is when you pick them up from school; sometimes it's just before they go to bed.
Want to learn more about how to create confidence and success in your young athlete? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program by clicking here!
You'll learn:
- How much pressure is too much pressure
- How to communicate with your young athlete
- How parents can instill confidence in young athletes
- How to prepare young athletes for game day
- How to cope with your young athlete's fear of failure
And other important tips for sports parents!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes
with a neat bonus that helps parents act and say the right
things before a game or competition
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225/407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Monday, September 17, 2007
Helping Young Athletes Trust in Their Skills
Do your sports kids excel in practice, but freeze up in competition? Do they have a hard time just being spontaneous and “free” when they compete? If so, you might need to help your child trust his or her athletic ability...
Freezing up in competition is a common challenge for young athletes. Some kids and teens love to practice and improve, but when it comes to competing, they suddenly don’t trust in their own skills and or have confidence in their abilities.
All young athletes face a lack of trust and confidence in their skills from time to time.
Maybe they’re new to a particular sport. Maybe they’re trying to learn a brand new skill and haven’t quite gotten it yet. Perhaps they’re perfectionists and feel that their performance isn’t “perfect” enough. They may also be afraid of making mistakes, so they play or compete tentatively.
Why should kids trust in their skills and abilities?
If they believe in their ability to execute a skill successfully, they’ll feel more confident. And more confidence will lead to more trust. That’s crucial to success and happiness in sports. In order to trust, athletes need to let go of conscious control—of their motor skills, for example. They must be able to perform spontaneously and intuitively.
As parents and coaches, there’s lots you can do to help young athletes learn to compete with trust and freedom.
First of all, look at your own behavior. Do you:
>>Ask your child to focus on proper or perfect form during the game?
>>Encourage your child to try to be perfect when performing?
>>Over coach your child right before game time?
>>Introduce a different method than the coach’s and confuse your child?
Instead, you need to:
>Help kids trust their skills on game day
>Help young athletes set goals
>Guide sports kids who are dealing with difficult feelings and much more!
Hop over to our web site to snag your copy:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
Freezing up in competition is a common challenge for young athletes. Some kids and teens love to practice and improve, but when it comes to competing, they suddenly don’t trust in their own skills and or have confidence in their abilities.
All young athletes face a lack of trust and confidence in their skills from time to time.
Maybe they’re new to a particular sport. Maybe they’re trying to learn a brand new skill and haven’t quite gotten it yet. Perhaps they’re perfectionists and feel that their performance isn’t “perfect” enough. They may also be afraid of making mistakes, so they play or compete tentatively.
Why should kids trust in their skills and abilities?
If they believe in their ability to execute a skill successfully, they’ll feel more confident. And more confidence will lead to more trust. That’s crucial to success and happiness in sports. In order to trust, athletes need to let go of conscious control—of their motor skills, for example. They must be able to perform spontaneously and intuitively.
As parents and coaches, there’s lots you can do to help young athletes learn to compete with trust and freedom.
First of all, look at your own behavior. Do you:
>>Ask your child to focus on proper or perfect form during the game?
>>Encourage your child to try to be perfect when performing?
>>Over coach your child right before game time?
>>Introduce a different method than the coach’s and confuse your child?
Instead, you need to:
- Help your young athletes leave practice on the practice field, and learn to trust in their abilities.
- Help them switch into an athletic, “let it happen” mindset in competition. Tell them to react intuitively, to keep it simple: See the ball and hit it.
- Help them think of ways to perform in the here-and-now. How can they get the job done without worrying about or analyzing how to get the job done?
- Help them accept that they can’t perform perfectly.
Want to learn more about how to help kids improve their performance, trust and confidence?
Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program....
You’ll learn how to:
>Instill a confident mindset in your young athletes
>Help kids trust their skills on game day
>Help young athletes set goals
>Guide sports kids who are dealing with difficult feelings and much more!
Hop over to our web site to snag your copy:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Helping Your Sports Kid Set Good Goals
Too often, sports parents set goals for their kids that are different than the kids' goals. It’s important for parents and coaches to help sports kids identify their own goals and then help them follow through on them.
Says Dony Wilcher, a popular basketball coach in Portland, OR., “I had one parent who wanted the world for his child. He went out of his way to get him the right equipment and send him to the top camps.”
“At the end of it all, he was perplexed that the kid was not a superstar. In some cases, kids will veer away from the sport altogether if the parents' goals are different than theirs.”
At first, most kids generally want to play sports to have fun and be with friends. At that point, that’s their goal, and it’s not necessary to set goals with them.
When they begin to be competitive--when they play in tournaments or join competitive teams--it's time to begin talking about their goals. For some children, this might be as young as 7 or 8--if they display unusual talent and motivation.
For example, I worked with one 8-year-old motocross racer who spent four hours per day training. It would be appropriate to talk about goals with a child like this.
When you're talking with your young athlete, begin with a broad, open-ended question.
If, for example. your child's goal is to try out for and make his or her high school basketball team, that's the long-term goal. Ask the child what he or she needs to do to make the team.
Evaluate his or her skills in dribbling, free-throw shooting, and defense, for example. Try to de-emphasize the long-term goal of making the team. When young athletes are too preoccupied with making the team, they may impose too many expectations on themselves and undermine their confidence.
Instead, parents and coaches should help young athletes identify smaller, shorter-term goals, such as improving their free-throw shooting.
Once you've helped your young athletes identify their goals, it's your job to help them aim toward them. The parents, coaches and athletes need to work as a team.
Parents should support their athletes by driving them to practices, cheering them on, and finding ways to ensure they are able to follow through on their commitments.
However, it's critical to be flexible. Parents and coaches should help kids modify their goals on a weekly or monthly basis.
Want to learn more about helping young athletes feel happy and confident in sports? Check out our latest program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook and CD program:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
You'll learn...
- How much pressure is too much
- How to prepare young athletes on game day
- How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks of their
performance - How to help kids overcome their fear of failure
- And much more!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. 'The Ultimate Sports Parent' workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game
or competition, which you can download immediately:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Helping Perfectionistic Sports Kids
Often, we hear from parents who worry about young athletes who are too hard on themselves. You’re likely familiar with these types of athletes. They’re perfectionists or perfectionistic.
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.
On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.
It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.
If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.
Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?
One important task for you as parent....
Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.
Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”
You’ll also learn how to:
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.
On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.
It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.
If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.
Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?
One important task for you as parent....
Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.
Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”
You’ll also learn how to:
- Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
- Motivate kids to master their sport
- Help kids feel confident in athletics
- Help young athletes not worry about what everyone thinks
- Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
- Cope with kids’ difficult or negative coaches
- Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. Do you and your child want to learn how to overcome perfectionism, fear of failure, and perform up to one's potential? You might want to check out our new workbook to help sports kids
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Beware of Abusive Coaches in Youth Sports
Lisa Cohn here, partner of my brother, Patrick Cohn from http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/. In my 14 years as a sports parent, one of the most difficult challenges I ever faced was coping with an abusive coach.
My son was a 7th grader who loved basketball more than anything in the world. But his coach was a nightmare. He yelled at the boys, threw basketballs at them, and called them names.
None of the other parents on this team were willing to call up the coach and question his style. Why? They were afraid the coach would bench their sons, cut their playing time, or cut then from the team altogether.
As a sports parent--especially if you're a parent to an elementary or middle-school aged child--it's your job to ensure your child is in good hands.
Before you even sign your kids up for a team, it’s entirely appropriate and reasonable to interview the coach. You should ask potential coaches about their philosophy and how they handle playing time.
That's not all you can do.
If your young athletes are already part of a team, but don't seem happy with the coach, you need to do some research. Is the coach always unhappy with your athlete's performance, no matter how well she performs?
Does the coach criticize your child constantly, or dwell on mistakes? Is your child withdrawn or quiet around the coach? If so, you need to take action.
You can learn more about how to interview and communicate with coaches. Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports” by using the link:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
You'll learn:
- How to evaluate a potential coach.
- How to communicate with your child's coach.
- What to do if your child's difficult coach is the only one in town.
- How to identify signs that the coach is undermining your athlete's
experience. - How to help kids cope with difficult feelings.
- How to teach kids no one is perfect!
Our new workbook program is flying off the shelves. Get your copy
today before we empty the shelves of the first printing!
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. For real-life strategies on how interview and communicate with your child's coach, check out our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225 407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.peaksports.com/
7380 Sand Lake Rd. Orlando, FL 32819
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
How Youth Athletes Cope with Pressure
Do you know what kind of pressures young athletes face in sports?
As sports parents, it's important to be tuned in to this issue. If your athletes are equestrians, for example, they likely feel pressure to perform up to their abilities.
Then there's the added pressure of dealing with their horses' ups and downs. Add to that the potential for danger—and you've got a pressure-cooker situation at times.
That's what Missy Clark, head trainer and owner of North Run Show Stables, Warren, Vermont told us in a recent interview. She works with some of the top young riders in the country.
What distinguishes the top performers in high-pressure situations?
They understand the mental side of sports, Clark says. In fact, one of her most successful young athletes had a mind like a "sponge" for sports psychology, she says. "She wasn't the most naturally talented rider, but she had an incredibly open mind about the mental aspect of sports."
That’s true of kids in all sports. They face numerous pressures.
They may intimidate themselves by comparing themselves to their competitors. They may pressure themselves to perform better than their peers. They may feel pressure from coaches to improve their performance.
If sports kids can identify and learn how to cope with these pressures, they've got a tremendous advantage. They’re likely to be happier and more successful.
We know that your kids likely impose lots of pressure on themselves.
They don't need any additional pressure from you. Be very careful about how you phrase your words of "support," especially before a competition or game. Even if you say, before a game, "I hope you score three goals today," you're pressuring your athletes.
Do you want to learn more about how to boost your young athlete’s mental game? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook and CD program. You’ll learn how to:
- Motivate kids to do well in sports
- Help kids feel confident in athletics
- Help young athletes stop worrying about what everyone thinks
- Teach kids no one is perfect
- Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
- Deal with kids’ difficult or negative coaches
Learn all our tips for providing athletes with the right kind of support--before games and after defeats or mistakes. Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program.
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. For more ideas about how to encourage kids in sports, check out
our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
© 2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Sports Parenting is Hard - My Sister Knows Firsthand
Lisa Cohn here - Patrick's sister - from The Ultimate Sports Parent (www.youthsportspsychology.com). You may know that I’m a youth soccer coach and a sports mom to four young athletes aged 8 to 18. Our kids dance, skate, ski, run cross-country, and play soccer, Lacrosse, football and basketball.
As a sports parent, I’ve dealt with sports kids who:
* Are stars in practice but choke up during competition (and then get angry at themselves)
* Worry too much about what their coaches and teammates think of them.
* Don’t know how to communicate with coaches who give negative feedback, and
* Feel pressured to play—even when they are sick or injured.
These are just a few of the tough situations I’ve faced over the past 13 years, since our oldest first began playing sports at age 5. These are challenging situations, and I can tell you, the answers aren’t easy to come by!
For example, what do you say to a child or teen who regularly gets angry at himself for making mistakes during a game? We address this exact challenge for kids and sports parents in our new workbook program, The Ultimate Sports Parent.
Here’s a tip: You can help your child change his expectations about making mistakes. Sometimes kids try to be too perfect on the playing fields and expect to not make any mistakes. Modifying their expectations can help them perform without the burden of constant frustration.
Dealing with kids’ expectations is just one common challenge. Every day as sports parents, you face so many tough—and interesting—situations. Believe me, how you react to these issues is critical to your child’s self-confidence and success as an athlete! (I’ve made enough mistakes to know).
To answer the above questions and the many more questions sports parents ask themselves every day, I’ve teamed up with my brother, Dr. Patrick Cohn, a leading sports psychology expert.
We’ve just released a cutting-edge new program, "The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports." In this program, we identify the top seven "inner game" challenges for sports parents and the top seven "mental game" challenges for kids.
We also explain how sports parents can:
* Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
* Use proven strategies to motivate their kids to play to their abilities
* Help young athletes stop worrying about what everyone thinks
* Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
* Deal with kids' difficult or negative coaches
* Teach kids no one is perfect in athletics, and
* Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes
Click here to read more about how to become The Ultimate Sports Parent:
Also, get to know us better by listening to ESPN’s “Sports Addicts’ Network” interview with me and Patrick by using the link below and scrolling to the interview.
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/radio_show.php
Sincerely,
Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
-----@----------------------------------------------
THE ULTIMATE SPORTS PARENT by Peak Performance Sports
www.youthsportspsychology.com
As a sports parent, I’ve dealt with sports kids who:
* Are stars in practice but choke up during competition (and then get angry at themselves)
* Worry too much about what their coaches and teammates think of them.
* Don’t know how to communicate with coaches who give negative feedback, and
* Feel pressured to play—even when they are sick or injured.
These are just a few of the tough situations I’ve faced over the past 13 years, since our oldest first began playing sports at age 5. These are challenging situations, and I can tell you, the answers aren’t easy to come by!
For example, what do you say to a child or teen who regularly gets angry at himself for making mistakes during a game? We address this exact challenge for kids and sports parents in our new workbook program, The Ultimate Sports Parent.
Here’s a tip: You can help your child change his expectations about making mistakes. Sometimes kids try to be too perfect on the playing fields and expect to not make any mistakes. Modifying their expectations can help them perform without the burden of constant frustration.
Dealing with kids’ expectations is just one common challenge. Every day as sports parents, you face so many tough—and interesting—situations. Believe me, how you react to these issues is critical to your child’s self-confidence and success as an athlete! (I’ve made enough mistakes to know).
To answer the above questions and the many more questions sports parents ask themselves every day, I’ve teamed up with my brother, Dr. Patrick Cohn, a leading sports psychology expert.
We’ve just released a cutting-edge new program, "The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports." In this program, we identify the top seven "inner game" challenges for sports parents and the top seven "mental game" challenges for kids.
We also explain how sports parents can:
* Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
* Use proven strategies to motivate their kids to play to their abilities
* Help young athletes stop worrying about what everyone thinks
* Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
* Deal with kids' difficult or negative coaches
* Teach kids no one is perfect in athletics, and
* Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes
Click here to read more about how to become The Ultimate Sports Parent:
Also, get to know us better by listening to ESPN’s “Sports Addicts’ Network” interview with me and Patrick by using the link below and scrolling to the interview.
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/radio_show.php
Sincerely,
Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
-----@----------------------------------------------
THE ULTIMATE SPORTS PARENT by Peak Performance Sports
www.youthsportspsychology.com
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Youth Sports Tips: How Perfectionism Holds Back Kids in Sports
One of the biggest challenges for young athletes today: They try to be too perfect with their performance. They try to have the perfect game or match.
Don't get us wrong. There are some advantages to perfectionism. Perfectionist kids have a strong work ethic, are committed to goals, and are willing to learn and improve. These great traits often disguise this 'mental roadblock' to success.
Kids who try to be too perfect can undermine their performance in many ways. They often expect too much of themselves, are afraid of failing, feel anxious, are frustrated, and worry too much about results. This can stifle their talent.
For example, a perfectionist athlete unknowingly embraces very high expectations. When he does not achieve his expectations, he feels frustrated and thinks he's failed.
Below is a recent example from a baseball dad about his son:
***********************************************
'My son is a good athlete who has always had good success.
However, he seems to focus on the negative, not the positive.
If he is practicing hitting, and doesn't make good contact,
after about three swings I hear 'I stink.' Unfortunately,
things tend to go down hill from there.'
~Baseball Dad
***********************************************
Perfectionists think that maintaining strict expectations is a good thing. They believe that the only other option is to accept mediocrity, which they are not willing to do.
But we have a different take on this:
If kids cannot reach their expectations, then become frustrated and lose their composure, they won't achieve their full potential in sports.
In our new program designed just for sports parents, we teach you how to help your child cope with high expectations and perfectionism. You also learn 13 other important mental game lessons designed to help ensure kids' success in sports.
Our new program, 'The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids' Success in Sports' teaches you to help your child perform without the burden of expectations and perfectionism.
We suggest that you grab your copy today at our special introductory price. But don't delay. The first printing will fly off the shelves when we release this program to the general public.
Read more about how to become The Ultimate Sports Parent:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
THE ULTIMATE SPORTS PARENT by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
P.S. Stop guessing what to say to your child to boost her confidence and success. We teach you the 14 most important sports parenting lessons with our easy-to-follow workbook and CD program. Plus, you get four special bonuses all for a small investment of $89.00 for a limited time only!
Learn how sports parents can encourage their kids in sports
Don't get us wrong. There are some advantages to perfectionism. Perfectionist kids have a strong work ethic, are committed to goals, and are willing to learn and improve. These great traits often disguise this 'mental roadblock' to success.
Kids who try to be too perfect can undermine their performance in many ways. They often expect too much of themselves, are afraid of failing, feel anxious, are frustrated, and worry too much about results. This can stifle their talent.
For example, a perfectionist athlete unknowingly embraces very high expectations. When he does not achieve his expectations, he feels frustrated and thinks he's failed.
Below is a recent example from a baseball dad about his son:
***********************************************
'My son is a good athlete who has always had good success.
However, he seems to focus on the negative, not the positive.
If he is practicing hitting, and doesn't make good contact,
after about three swings I hear 'I stink.' Unfortunately,
things tend to go down hill from there.'
~Baseball Dad
***********************************************
Perfectionists think that maintaining strict expectations is a good thing. They believe that the only other option is to accept mediocrity, which they are not willing to do.
But we have a different take on this:
If kids cannot reach their expectations, then become frustrated and lose their composure, they won't achieve their full potential in sports.
In our new program designed just for sports parents, we teach you how to help your child cope with high expectations and perfectionism. You also learn 13 other important mental game lessons designed to help ensure kids' success in sports.
Our new program, 'The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids' Success in Sports' teaches you to help your child perform without the burden of expectations and perfectionism.
We suggest that you grab your copy today at our special introductory price. But don't delay. The first printing will fly off the shelves when we release this program to the general public.
Read more about how to become The Ultimate Sports Parent:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
THE ULTIMATE SPORTS PARENT by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
P.S. Stop guessing what to say to your child to boost her confidence and success. We teach you the 14 most important sports parenting lessons with our easy-to-follow workbook and CD program. Plus, you get four special bonuses all for a small investment of $89.00 for a limited time only!
Learn how sports parents can encourage their kids in sports
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