Too often, sports parents set goals for their kids that are different than the kids' goals. It’s important for parents and coaches to help sports kids identify their own goals and then help them follow through on them.
Says Dony Wilcher, a popular basketball coach in Portland, OR., “I had one parent who wanted the world for his child. He went out of his way to get him the right equipment and send him to the top camps.”
“At the end of it all, he was perplexed that the kid was not a superstar. In some cases, kids will veer away from the sport altogether if the parents' goals are different than theirs.”
At first, most kids generally want to play sports to have fun and be with friends. At that point, that’s their goal, and it’s not necessary to set goals with them.
When they begin to be competitive--when they play in tournaments or join competitive teams--it's time to begin talking about their goals. For some children, this might be as young as 7 or 8--if they display unusual talent and motivation.
For example, I worked with one 8-year-old motocross racer who spent four hours per day training. It would be appropriate to talk about goals with a child like this.
When you're talking with your young athlete, begin with a broad, open-ended question.
If, for example. your child's goal is to try out for and make his or her high school basketball team, that's the long-term goal. Ask the child what he or she needs to do to make the team.
Evaluate his or her skills in dribbling, free-throw shooting, and defense, for example. Try to de-emphasize the long-term goal of making the team. When young athletes are too preoccupied with making the team, they may impose too many expectations on themselves and undermine their confidence.
Instead, parents and coaches should help young athletes identify smaller, shorter-term goals, such as improving their free-throw shooting.
Once you've helped your young athletes identify their goals, it's your job to help them aim toward them. The parents, coaches and athletes need to work as a team.
Parents should support their athletes by driving them to practices, cheering them on, and finding ways to ensure they are able to follow through on their commitments.
However, it's critical to be flexible. Parents and coaches should help kids modify their goals on a weekly or monthly basis.
Want to learn more about helping young athletes feel happy and confident in sports? Check out our latest program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook and CD program:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
You'll learn...
- How much pressure is too much
- How to prepare young athletes on game day
- How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks of their
performance - How to help kids overcome their fear of failure
- And much more!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. 'The Ultimate Sports Parent' workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game
or competition, which you can download immediately:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
