By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
Young athletes want to feel like winners—whether or not they’re always scoring and beating their opponents. Sports parents can help their kids feel good about their experiences simply by taking the focus off the “win.”
David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, says his organization wants to re-define the term “winning” in ways that provide important benefits to young athletes.
“Of course people want to win,” says Jacobson. “My organization advocates trying as hard as you can to win.
But there's more going on than finishing with the highest score. There are so many educational opportunities. For example, if you can put forth maximum effort, you become a winner.”
If coaches and sports parents can frame conversations in this fashion, kids don’t feel as nervous. “They are more likely to feel successful and be successful,” he says.
For example, let’s say your young athletes are outsized and outmatched. How can you help them feel like winners? Ask them to go into the game against a formidable opponent with an eye toward succeeding in small ways, says Jacobson.
Give young athletes specific objectives that help them attain excellence. For example, . in soccer, a coach might ask kids to try to nab every loose ball.
Even if the final score is 5-0 and your team loses, if you've gotten to every loose ball, you've won a small victory that imparts confidence to kids!
In sports psychology, we call this focusing on manageable objectives or small, easy-to-accomplish goals. Coaches and parents should ask kids to do this to help them focus on effort, rather than outcome.
When kids are too focused on results and wins, it's a huge distraction. It's harder for them to succeed and feel confidentfocus on the things they need to do to execute well in the present moment.
As a sports parent or youth coach, it's your job to help kids identify and focus on mini-objectives. Ask them to try and get aim for two rebounds in basketball, or to focus on making four out of six quality shots on goal. Change their mindset; help them enjoy the game more by focusing on the process and the fun!
You can also help build their confidence and success by consistently telling them mistakes are okay, says Jacobson.
“You have to impart the notion that mistakes are okay. The greatest success occurs if you make mistakes. You can't learn--or get to other side of envelope--if you don't push yourself and make mistakes,” he says.
For example, you're not learning as an ice skater unless you're falling down.
Not only do you need to tell kids mistakes are okay. You need to reward them for making them and use them as a learning opportunity.
"You want them to keep trying to be aggressive and willing to push the outside of the envelope," he says.
“Through positive reinforcement, tell the athlete at every turn, 'You didn't get the ball there, but you tried something new, and that's a step in the right direction. Great work,’” he explains.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com
Showing posts with label sports psychology for kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sports psychology for kids. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Negative Feedback: A Confidence Buster for Young Athletes
By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
Mike, a sports dad to an 11-year-old who plays high-level baseball, is worried about his son’s confidence. Jim’s baseball coach often singles Jim out for making mistakes. As a result, the kids on the team also comment when Jim makes mistakes.
Mike says Jim doesn’t mind so much when the coach singles him out. But Jim is not so happy when the other kids pick up on this negativity and start offering their two cents about his mistakes.
This situation can be a confidence buster for young athletes if their parents don’t handle it well.
Young athletes often worry about what their peers think of them. If they worry too much, it can undermine their confidence and performance. They’ll often start playing tentatively. They’ll be afraid to take risks. They’ll be afraid of making more mistakes.
Mike took a smart approach: He reminded Jim that he generally contributes a lot to the team, and the coach and kids likely expect a lot from him.
He suggested that Jim find ways to turn this negative into a positive: Mike told Jim to take the feedback and use it as motivation to work harder.
When sports parents struggle with this issue, they should also consider having a frank conversation with the coach. If you do this, be sure to wait until after a game. Or make an appointment to see the coach. Don’t approach the coach at half-time during a game if you are upset.
Wait to cool off before you sit down with the coach. Be sure to be as positive as possible. You might say, “I really appreciate all that you’re doing for the kids on these teams. I have one issue I’d like to discuss with you. I think it hurts my son’s confidence when you single him out for criticism.”
In addition, it’s important for sports parents to stress that confidence comes from within. It’s based on what they can control—how hard they work in practice, their motivation and their past successes. It shouldn’t be based on what they can’t control—the weather, the size of the ball they’re playing withopponents the team is playing against, or what others might be saying about them.
Young athletes need to focus on what they do well and try to push out of their minds worries about what others think of them.
What’s more, you can remind your young athletes that it’s natural to make mistakes in sports. No one is perfect. In fact, athletes learn from mistakes.
You’ll learn:
*How to talk to a coach
*When to find a new coach
*How to motivate kids to do their best
*How to communicate with your young athletes
*How to prepare kids for game day
*How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks
*And much more!
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com
Mike, a sports dad to an 11-year-old who plays high-level baseball, is worried about his son’s confidence. Jim’s baseball coach often singles Jim out for making mistakes. As a result, the kids on the team also comment when Jim makes mistakes.
Mike says Jim doesn’t mind so much when the coach singles him out. But Jim is not so happy when the other kids pick up on this negativity and start offering their two cents about his mistakes.
This situation can be a confidence buster for young athletes if their parents don’t handle it well.
Young athletes often worry about what their peers think of them. If they worry too much, it can undermine their confidence and performance. They’ll often start playing tentatively. They’ll be afraid to take risks. They’ll be afraid of making more mistakes.
Mike took a smart approach: He reminded Jim that he generally contributes a lot to the team, and the coach and kids likely expect a lot from him.
He suggested that Jim find ways to turn this negative into a positive: Mike told Jim to take the feedback and use it as motivation to work harder.
When sports parents struggle with this issue, they should also consider having a frank conversation with the coach. If you do this, be sure to wait until after a game. Or make an appointment to see the coach. Don’t approach the coach at half-time during a game if you are upset.
Wait to cool off before you sit down with the coach. Be sure to be as positive as possible. You might say, “I really appreciate all that you’re doing for the kids on these teams. I have one issue I’d like to discuss with you. I think it hurts my son’s confidence when you single him out for criticism.”
In addition, it’s important for sports parents to stress that confidence comes from within. It’s based on what they can control—how hard they work in practice, their motivation and their past successes. It shouldn’t be based on what they can’t control—the weather, the size of the ball they’re playing withopponents the team is playing against, or what others might be saying about them.
Young athletes need to focus on what they do well and try to push out of their minds worries about what others think of them.
What’s more, you can remind your young athletes that it’s natural to make mistakes in sports. No one is perfect. In fact, athletes learn from mistakes.
You’ll learn:
*How to talk to a coach
*When to find a new coach
*How to motivate kids to do their best
*How to communicate with your young athletes
*How to prepare kids for game day
*How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks
*And much more!
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Youth Sports: An Athlete’s "Emotional Tank"
By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn
How can parents and coaches fill a young athlete’s “emotional tank?”
Coaches need to praise kids five times before they provide one piece of constructive criticism, says David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, based at Stanford University.
“We liken a child’s emotional tank to a car’s gas tank. When the tank is full, it runs well. When it’s drained, it doesn’t run well,” he explains.
To fill a child’s or teen’s tank, parents and coaches need to provide a steady flow of specific, truthful praise, Jacobson says. When you do this, sports kids are more confident. They’re also more open to criticism and more likely to listen to what the coach or parent has to say.
“When you’re praising, you’re creating a great feeling for the child so he or she wants to continue the work required to excel as an athlete and take away all the life lessons that sports has to offer,” he says.
It’s critical to build young athletes’ confidence by praising them. For many young athletes, confidence is fragile and wavers easily depending on their performance and feedback from parents and coaches. They’re less likely to feel confident if they make mistakes or lose a match and get criticized.
One of your goals is to help your child develop a more stable level of confidence. Help them through the bumps in the confidence roller coaster.
Here’s another way to fill your kids’ emotional tanks and boost their confidence: Teach them how to praise themselves. Help your kids create a confidence resume. It may include a fun practice, a past experience, a successful game, skills improvement or good coaching. Ask your kids to review their confidence resumes before competing.
To develop confidence, kids, should have a “highlight reel” in their heads just before a game, says Robert Troutwine, Ph.D., founder of Troutwine and Associates. That’s a mental image of their most amazing play, move or moment in sports. It’s an image of a play, move or moment that makes them feel on top of the world!
Remember: The last thing we want is for your young athletes to mentally rehearse bad plays, moves or moments in sports!
Why? Because they’ll be practicing the wrong things. They’ll allow self-doubt to creep into their minds. They’ll be totally distracted!
However, playing in their heads a highlight reel that’s a totally awesome moment will help them feel confident—it will give them the feeling they can and will succeed.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting www.youthsportspsychology.com.
How can parents and coaches fill a young athlete’s “emotional tank?”
Coaches need to praise kids five times before they provide one piece of constructive criticism, says David Jacobson, a spokesman for the Positive Coaching Alliance, based at Stanford University.
“We liken a child’s emotional tank to a car’s gas tank. When the tank is full, it runs well. When it’s drained, it doesn’t run well,” he explains.
To fill a child’s or teen’s tank, parents and coaches need to provide a steady flow of specific, truthful praise, Jacobson says. When you do this, sports kids are more confident. They’re also more open to criticism and more likely to listen to what the coach or parent has to say.
“When you’re praising, you’re creating a great feeling for the child so he or she wants to continue the work required to excel as an athlete and take away all the life lessons that sports has to offer,” he says.
It’s critical to build young athletes’ confidence by praising them. For many young athletes, confidence is fragile and wavers easily depending on their performance and feedback from parents and coaches. They’re less likely to feel confident if they make mistakes or lose a match and get criticized.
One of your goals is to help your child develop a more stable level of confidence. Help them through the bumps in the confidence roller coaster.
Here’s another way to fill your kids’ emotional tanks and boost their confidence: Teach them how to praise themselves. Help your kids create a confidence resume. It may include a fun practice, a past experience, a successful game, skills improvement or good coaching. Ask your kids to review their confidence resumes before competing.
To develop confidence, kids, should have a “highlight reel” in their heads just before a game, says Robert Troutwine, Ph.D., founder of Troutwine and Associates. That’s a mental image of their most amazing play, move or moment in sports. It’s an image of a play, move or moment that makes them feel on top of the world!
Remember: The last thing we want is for your young athletes to mentally rehearse bad plays, moves or moments in sports!
Why? Because they’ll be practicing the wrong things. They’ll allow self-doubt to creep into their minds. They’ll be totally distracted!
However, playing in their heads a highlight reel that’s a totally awesome moment will help them feel confident—it will give them the feeling they can and will succeed.
Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting www.youthsportspsychology.com.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Talented Kid Athletes and High Expectations
Chris, the sports mom of an 8-year-old athlete, faces a difficult dilemma: Her son is a talented goalie in hockey, but he's so good that his team mates and coaches rely on him.
Chris's problem: The boy feels so pressured to perform that he recently pretended to be sick to avoid playing goalie in an end-of-season tournament.
Initially, the boy said that he enjoyed the fact that everyone liked him so much for being such a great goalie. However, it's clear that he soon began worrying that peers and coaches wouldn't like him if he didn't perform up to expectations.
When parents have talented or successful athletes who struggle with high expectations, they need to get to the root of what's upsetting or worrying their athletes. First of all, help the kids identify their own high expectations.
The athlete might say, "If I let my team down, nobody will like me." Or the child might say, "If I make a mistake, I screw up the game for everyone." Be sure to openly discuss athletes' fears or anxieties.
In most cases, we've discovered that kids in this position likely are afraid of failing or afraid of losing their peers' or coaches' approval. They may also be perfectionists who think they shouldn't
make mistakes.
Often, athletes' expectations are unrealistic. The athletes may feel as if they must win the game for everyone. Or they may feel as if they are not allowed to make any mistakes. These unrealistic expectations can undermine an athlete's confidence.
Discuss these expectations with your sports kids and help them understand that they shouldn't expect so much of themselves. You might remind them that no one is perfect. Tell them that people
will like even if they make mistakes.
Some kids are more open about discussing their feelings than others. With kids who are less likely to open up, be on the lookout for the moments during the day when they're more likely to share their feelings. Sometimes this is when you pick them up from school; sometimes it's just before they go to bed.
Want to learn more about how to create confidence and success in your young athlete? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program by clicking here!
You'll learn:
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225/407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Chris's problem: The boy feels so pressured to perform that he recently pretended to be sick to avoid playing goalie in an end-of-season tournament.
Initially, the boy said that he enjoyed the fact that everyone liked him so much for being such a great goalie. However, it's clear that he soon began worrying that peers and coaches wouldn't like him if he didn't perform up to expectations.
When parents have talented or successful athletes who struggle with high expectations, they need to get to the root of what's upsetting or worrying their athletes. First of all, help the kids identify their own high expectations.
The athlete might say, "If I let my team down, nobody will like me." Or the child might say, "If I make a mistake, I screw up the game for everyone." Be sure to openly discuss athletes' fears or anxieties.
In most cases, we've discovered that kids in this position likely are afraid of failing or afraid of losing their peers' or coaches' approval. They may also be perfectionists who think they shouldn't
make mistakes.
Often, athletes' expectations are unrealistic. The athletes may feel as if they must win the game for everyone. Or they may feel as if they are not allowed to make any mistakes. These unrealistic expectations can undermine an athlete's confidence.
Discuss these expectations with your sports kids and help them understand that they shouldn't expect so much of themselves. You might remind them that no one is perfect. Tell them that people
will like even if they make mistakes.
Some kids are more open about discussing their feelings than others. With kids who are less likely to open up, be on the lookout for the moments during the day when they're more likely to share their feelings. Sometimes this is when you pick them up from school; sometimes it's just before they go to bed.
Want to learn more about how to create confidence and success in your young athlete? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program by clicking here!
You'll learn:
- How much pressure is too much pressure
- How to communicate with your young athlete
- How parents can instill confidence in young athletes
- How to prepare young athletes for game day
- How to cope with your young athlete's fear of failure
And other important tips for sports parents!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes
with a neat bonus that helps parents act and say the right
things before a game or competition
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225/407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Friday, September 7, 2007
Keeping Young Athletes from Dropping Out
Did you know that 75% of all young athletes drop out of sports by the time they are 13? They drop out because taking part in youth sports is no longer enjoyable for them.
What factors might lead young athletes to drop out? First of all, they might be playing for the wrong reasons—because a parent or coach wants them to play. Ultimately, playing to make someone else happy doesn't make the athlete happy.
Second, they may feel too much pressure to perform. When kids feel too much pressure, they often under-perform. Their confidence and happiness may sink.
Third, peers, parents and coaches may expect too much of young athletes—especially talented athletes. High expectations can undermine athletes' confidence and happiness.
To ensure your young athletes continue to enjoy sports, make sure they're playing because they want to play. Let your young athletes lead you. If all they want to do is play recreationally, let them do just that.
Don't push them to try out for higher levels of competition if they're mostly interested in playing for fun with friends. If you push them, your efforts may backfire and your kids may drop out of sports. Kids sometimes thrive when they can develop confidence at lower levels.
In addition, don't focus too much on winning. Winning may be fun for parents. But it's not always what's most fun for kids. Keep the long-term benefits of sports participation in mind. By taking part in athletics, kids learn important life skills such as sportsmanship, teamwork, and coping with adversity. They also stay fit and healthy.
Check your own motivations. Do you want your kids to play sports to win scholarships or to succeed in ways that you failed to succeed? Don't assume your athletes have the same goals or motivations that you have about sports.
Be a good cheerleader. Be positive and supportive of your young athletes' team and coaches. Find ways to help out the team. You can be a team parent or sign up to bring snacks, for example. While you're being supportive, be sure to keep your own coaching to a minimum. Leave the coaching to the coach.
Want to learn more about how to ensure kids stay in the game for as long as possible? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook and CD program. Nearly every section gives you important tips about how to ensure your kids enjoy sports for now and many years to come. Specifically, the workbook/CD program addresses:
*How to communicate with your young athletes
*How to help your athletes establish appropriate goals
*Providing positive motivation for your athletes
*How to instill a confident mindset in your sports kids
*Helping kids deal with competitive pressure
*Providing kids with positive support after defeat
**And much more!
Hop over to our web site to learn more how to help sports kids improve confidence and success!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
What factors might lead young athletes to drop out? First of all, they might be playing for the wrong reasons—because a parent or coach wants them to play. Ultimately, playing to make someone else happy doesn't make the athlete happy.
Second, they may feel too much pressure to perform. When kids feel too much pressure, they often under-perform. Their confidence and happiness may sink.
Third, peers, parents and coaches may expect too much of young athletes—especially talented athletes. High expectations can undermine athletes' confidence and happiness.
To ensure your young athletes continue to enjoy sports, make sure they're playing because they want to play. Let your young athletes lead you. If all they want to do is play recreationally, let them do just that.
Don't push them to try out for higher levels of competition if they're mostly interested in playing for fun with friends. If you push them, your efforts may backfire and your kids may drop out of sports. Kids sometimes thrive when they can develop confidence at lower levels.
In addition, don't focus too much on winning. Winning may be fun for parents. But it's not always what's most fun for kids. Keep the long-term benefits of sports participation in mind. By taking part in athletics, kids learn important life skills such as sportsmanship, teamwork, and coping with adversity. They also stay fit and healthy.
Check your own motivations. Do you want your kids to play sports to win scholarships or to succeed in ways that you failed to succeed? Don't assume your athletes have the same goals or motivations that you have about sports.
Be a good cheerleader. Be positive and supportive of your young athletes' team and coaches. Find ways to help out the team. You can be a team parent or sign up to bring snacks, for example. While you're being supportive, be sure to keep your own coaching to a minimum. Leave the coaching to the coach.
Want to learn more about how to ensure kids stay in the game for as long as possible? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook and CD program. Nearly every section gives you important tips about how to ensure your kids enjoy sports for now and many years to come. Specifically, the workbook/CD program addresses:
*How to communicate with your young athletes
*How to help your athletes establish appropriate goals
*Providing positive motivation for your athletes
*How to instill a confident mindset in your sports kids
*Helping kids deal with competitive pressure
*Providing kids with positive support after defeat
**And much more!
Hop over to our web site to learn more how to help sports kids improve confidence and success!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Helping Your Sports Kid Set Good Goals
Too often, sports parents set goals for their kids that are different than the kids' goals. It’s important for parents and coaches to help sports kids identify their own goals and then help them follow through on them.
Says Dony Wilcher, a popular basketball coach in Portland, OR., “I had one parent who wanted the world for his child. He went out of his way to get him the right equipment and send him to the top camps.”
“At the end of it all, he was perplexed that the kid was not a superstar. In some cases, kids will veer away from the sport altogether if the parents' goals are different than theirs.”
At first, most kids generally want to play sports to have fun and be with friends. At that point, that’s their goal, and it’s not necessary to set goals with them.
When they begin to be competitive--when they play in tournaments or join competitive teams--it's time to begin talking about their goals. For some children, this might be as young as 7 or 8--if they display unusual talent and motivation.
For example, I worked with one 8-year-old motocross racer who spent four hours per day training. It would be appropriate to talk about goals with a child like this.
When you're talking with your young athlete, begin with a broad, open-ended question.
If, for example. your child's goal is to try out for and make his or her high school basketball team, that's the long-term goal. Ask the child what he or she needs to do to make the team.
Evaluate his or her skills in dribbling, free-throw shooting, and defense, for example. Try to de-emphasize the long-term goal of making the team. When young athletes are too preoccupied with making the team, they may impose too many expectations on themselves and undermine their confidence.
Instead, parents and coaches should help young athletes identify smaller, shorter-term goals, such as improving their free-throw shooting.
Once you've helped your young athletes identify their goals, it's your job to help them aim toward them. The parents, coaches and athletes need to work as a team.
Parents should support their athletes by driving them to practices, cheering them on, and finding ways to ensure they are able to follow through on their commitments.
However, it's critical to be flexible. Parents and coaches should help kids modify their goals on a weekly or monthly basis.
Want to learn more about helping young athletes feel happy and confident in sports? Check out our latest program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook and CD program:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
You'll learn...
- How much pressure is too much
- How to prepare young athletes on game day
- How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks of their
performance - How to help kids overcome their fear of failure
- And much more!
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
P.S. 'The Ultimate Sports Parent' workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game
or competition, which you can download immediately:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Helping Perfectionistic Sports Kids
Often, we hear from parents who worry about young athletes who are too hard on themselves. You’re likely familiar with these types of athletes. They’re perfectionists or perfectionistic.
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.
On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.
It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.
If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.
Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?
One important task for you as parent....
Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.
Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”
You’ll also learn how to:
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.
On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.
It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.
If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.
Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?
One important task for you as parent....
Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.
Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”
You’ll also learn how to:
- Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
- Motivate kids to master their sport
- Help kids feel confident in athletics
- Help young athletes not worry about what everyone thinks
- Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
- Cope with kids’ difficult or negative coaches
- Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes
Sincerely,
Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author
P.S. Do you and your child want to learn how to overcome perfectionism, fear of failure, and perform up to one's potential? You might want to check out our new workbook to help sports kids
©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/
Saturday, March 3, 2007
The Ultimate Sports Parent Radio Show
We recently received an email for John about The Ultimate Sports Parent Radio Show (podcast). Here is what John had to say…
Lisa,
I listening to several of your podcast and found them very interesting. However, the suggestions given by your guests are very slanted towards the coach's perspective and not the players or parents.
They seem to think that the coach is always right and the parents need to help the kids adapt. The whole point of some of your show topics is that there are bad coaches or coaches who simply make mistakes and we need to address that.
I sense that you understand this and push your guest to address this but they just don't get it. Telling a kid to play better so he too can be a coach favorite isn't very sound advice. Telling a kids that he/she needs to perform when they get the opportunity is too much pressure.
Thanks for listening,
And my sister Lisa’s response:
John,
Thanks so much for giving us feedback about our Ultimate Sports Parent Radio podcast. You're suggesting that some of our guests focus only on the coach's point of view--not on the parent's or athlete's.
You also suggest that parents need some help coping with bad coaches or coaches who make mistakes. I agree! As a longtime sports parent (our four kids are 8-18), my biggest problem has been dealing with coaches.
In our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program, we address this issue in detail. We even tell parents when they should try to find another coach. I can provide you with some of our suggestions, if you're interested.
I also addressed this issue in a story I wrote for the Christian Science Monitor called "Teaching Parents to Be Better Sports." That story is on our website, http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/ under the articles section.
Again, thanks for listening and giving us feedback! Feel free to give us more suggestions.
Sincerely,
Lisa Cohn, award-winning sports parenting writer
Lisa,
I listening to several of your podcast and found them very interesting. However, the suggestions given by your guests are very slanted towards the coach's perspective and not the players or parents.
They seem to think that the coach is always right and the parents need to help the kids adapt. The whole point of some of your show topics is that there are bad coaches or coaches who simply make mistakes and we need to address that.
I sense that you understand this and push your guest to address this but they just don't get it. Telling a kid to play better so he too can be a coach favorite isn't very sound advice. Telling a kids that he/she needs to perform when they get the opportunity is too much pressure.
Thanks for listening,
And my sister Lisa’s response:
John,
Thanks so much for giving us feedback about our Ultimate Sports Parent Radio podcast. You're suggesting that some of our guests focus only on the coach's point of view--not on the parent's or athlete's.
You also suggest that parents need some help coping with bad coaches or coaches who make mistakes. I agree! As a longtime sports parent (our four kids are 8-18), my biggest problem has been dealing with coaches.
In our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program, we address this issue in detail. We even tell parents when they should try to find another coach. I can provide you with some of our suggestions, if you're interested.
I also addressed this issue in a story I wrote for the Christian Science Monitor called "Teaching Parents to Be Better Sports." That story is on our website, http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/ under the articles section.
Again, thanks for listening and giving us feedback! Feel free to give us more suggestions.
Sincerely,
Lisa Cohn, award-winning sports parenting writer
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