Helping Young Athletes Follow Their Dreams in Sports

By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn

How do you help a young athlete whose dreams in sports are undermined by others’ jealousy?

In the case of Lela’s son, “Frank,” it’s a big challenge. Frank is a high school student and Olympic-caliber athlete in track. He is ranked nationally for his event and age group.

Frank’s problem: He lives in a very small town where there’s only one track coach, a coach whose son also takes part in track. Others are jealous of Frank’s talents and his high goals in sports.

The track coach tries to derail Frank’s efforts to become an Olympic athlete, refusing to give him extra gym time to work out. The coach told him he should simply focus on high school sports, rather than follow his dream of training for the Olympics.

What’s more, the basketball and football coaches in this small town think they “own” this young man’s talent. They’re constantly pressuring him to play on their teams instead of following his dream. They want to use his talent to help their teams succeed.

How can sports parents deal with such a dilemma?

Lela and other sports parents should encourage their young athletes to follow their dreams. Lela needs to help her son ignore the distractions created by others’ jealousy and focus on doing what he loves. That means training, competing and continuing to improve.

Lela needs to help Frank tune out the worries created by others’ opposition to his dream. He needs to focus on the tasks he needs to achieve his goals. An athlete’s dreams can quickly sink when non-believers beat him up. His confidence can take a hit.

In addition, if Frank doesn’t want to play football or basketball, he should not play. His talent is his own—not his small town’s.

Successful athletes are able to keep their goals and dreams alive in the face of criticism from others. Sometimes an athlete will give in to the pressure he feels from parents, coaches, and friends. In this case, the athlete competes to satisfy others instead of following his dreams.

Parents need to ensure their kids take part in sports for the right reasons. Young athletes should be genuinely self-motivated to practice and compete in sports.

Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com

Sports Parents: Why Your Kid Needs Great Coaching

By Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn

Youth coaches have a big responsibility and opportunity, says Dr. John McCarthy, director of Boston University's Institute for Athletic Coach Education.

"They can enhance the growth and development of youth," he says. But they can’t do that if they only focus on winning.

In our society, youth coaches are often judged by their win-loss record, McCarthy says. But—especially in youth sports—that's not the best way to evaluate a coach. For example, caochesFor example, coaches might be very good at communicating or helping your child learn valuable life skills through sports. These are important traits in a coach.

Sometimes a high win ratio reflects a coach's ego—not his or her interest in ensuring kids have a positive sports experience, he says.

To ensure your young athlete has the best possible sports experience,

let go of the idea that good coaches need to have the top record, he suggests. Instead, ask yourself these questions:

*Is the sports experience fun for my child? Is my child engaged and learning new skills?

*Is the coach well-organized? Are practices organized in a manner that keeps kids moving? Or is the coach easily distracted?

*Are practices and games appropriate to your child's skill level? "Fun means challenging at the appropriate level," says McCarthy.

*Does your child take responsibility for his or her own learning? If not, what could your coach do differently?

* Does the coach engage in positive ways with the kids and help them feel successful?

*Does the coach use sports as a springboard to help the athletes learn life skills such as teamwork, confidence, and focusing under pressure?

That’s not all you can do to ensure your child receives good coaching.

Before you sign up your child for a team, interview the coach about his or her philosophy. Watch him or her conduct a few practices to see if you’re comfortable with his or her style. Once you’ve signed your child up for a team, if you feel confident your child has a great coach , leave the coaching to him or her!

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!

http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

You'll also learn:

>What to say to kids on game day
>How to communicate with your young athlete
>Why few of failure undermines your athlete's confidence
>Why confidence is critical to benefiting from sports….
>And other great tips!

Award winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn and Youth Sports Psychology expert Dr. Patrick Cohn are co-founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent. Pick up their free e-book, “Ten Tips to Improve Confidence and Success in Young Athletes” by visiting http://www.youthsportspsychology.com

How to Boost Kids' Sports Confidence

We often see kids who excel in practice, but freeze up during games. This can be frustrating and confusing for parents and coaches. What's going on in the young athlete's mind and what can sports parents and coaches do about it?

First, sports parents and coaches should help young athletes understand that they create their own sports confidence mindset. If kids begin a game needing immediate results (such as getting the first hit or basket of the game), they're hurting their confidence.

It is critical to remind young athletes that they've been practicing to develop confidence for many years. Don't let them lose their hard-earned confidence by worrying about achieving immediate results!

What's more, athletes need to understand that they'll be more successful if they assume full responsibility for their own confidence before competition begins. This is why it's called self-confidence!

Often, athletes take a back seat approach and wait until they make a couple of plays before they decide how confident they should feel.

If this is how your young athlete thinks, they need positive results before they feel confident. In other words, they need to make that great hit or basket before they can begin to feel confident.

If this is true of the young athletes in your life, you can help. Tell them they need to change how they think before entering competition. Tell them not to worry about making that first hit, goal or basket right away!

Instead, they should draw on their many successes even before the game or competition begins.

We suggest that you learn how to boost your child’s confidence. And we can help. Go check out our “Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook/CD program. You'll also discover:

* How to communicate with your young athletes.
* How to help them establish appropriate goals.
* How to help them trust their skills on game day.
* How to help them cope with competitive pressure.
* And other tips!

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author

P.S. For more ideas about how to boost kids' confidence in sports,
check out our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents.
http://youthsportspsychology.com/

© 2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

Sports Parents Need Mental Training Too

Have I ever told you that I grew up in a sports-crazed family with five kids?

30 years ago when I played football, hockey, golf, and lacrosse year round, our dad was an enthusiastic sports parent. He often impeached us to play harder and live up to our abilities. He was quick to express his frustration with refs and coaches.

My dad (and mom) was so into our games, he couldn't restrain himself. That was both good and bad for the five of us. We liked all the attention, but often felt pressured to perform better - and better!

Now that I am a sports parent myself, I understand just how difficult it is for parents--like my dad--to figure out how best to support and help their kids in sports. And as a leading sports psychology expert, we've been studying this issue.

Sports parents today have many tough questions to answer: Should you push kids to try harder in sports when you know they have the athletic ability? What do you say or do after your child or teen's crushing defeat?

What to do if your daughter worries constantly about what others think of her sports performance? How do you behave on the sidelines when you are frustrated with coaches or refs?

These are hard questions, and the answers are not always obvious.

I have heard from many parents, like you, who are struggling with these issues - and many others. Now, my sister Lisa Cohn, an award- winning parenting writer, and I have teamed up to teach you how to boost kids' confidence and help you be a great sports parent!

We just released an innovative new program for sports parents, "The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids" Success in Sports.'

Our cutting-edge CD/Workbook program tells parents just what to say and do to improve their kids' confidence, success and happiness in sports. It's based on 15 years of experience working with athletes and young athletes.

As Julia Dreyer, a sports mom to two champion equestrians says:

"As parents, we supply our sports kids with all the best in equipment
and coaches. But just having the right mindset using sports psychology
is the least expensive and most effective investment in them."

Click here to read read more about how parents can help kids in sports.

Thanks,

Patrick J. Cohn, Ph.D.,
Master Mental Game Coach

P.S. We recently re-launched our online mental training program with more programs and mental game tools to help you reach your potential. Grab your subscription today and get 30% off *The Ultimate Sports Parent* and other programs. Go here for a demo: Online Mental Training Program