Helping Young Athletes Trust in Their Skills

Do your sports kids excel in practice, but freeze up in competition? Do they have a hard time just being spontaneous and “free” when they compete? If so, you might need to help your child trust his or her athletic ability...

Freezing up in competition is a common challenge for young athletes. Some kids and teens love to practice and improve, but when it comes to competing, they suddenly don’t trust in their own skills and or have confidence in their abilities.

All young athletes face a lack of trust and confidence in their skills from time to time.

Maybe they’re new to a particular sport. Maybe they’re trying to learn a brand new skill and haven’t quite gotten it yet. Perhaps they’re perfectionists and feel that their performance isn’t “perfect” enough. They may also be afraid of making mistakes, so they play or compete tentatively.

Why should kids trust in their skills and abilities?

If they believe in their ability to execute a skill successfully, they’ll feel more confident. And more confidence will lead to more trust. That’s crucial to success and happiness in sports. In order to trust, athletes need to let go of conscious control—of their motor skills, for example. They must be able to perform spontaneously and intuitively.

As parents and coaches, there’s lots you can do to help young athletes learn to compete with trust and freedom.

First of all, look at your own behavior. Do you:

>>Ask your child to focus on proper or perfect form during the game?

>>Encourage your child to try to be perfect when performing?

>>Over coach your child right before game time?

>>Introduce a different method than the coach’s and confuse your child?

Instead, you need to:

1. Help your young athletes leave practice on the practice field, and learn to trust in their abilities.
2. Help them switch into an athletic, “let it happen” mindset in competition. Tell them to react intuitively, to keep it simple: See the ball and hit it.
3. Help them think of ways to perform in the here-and-now. How can they get the job done without worrying about or analyzing how to get the job done?
4. Help them accept that they can’t perform perfectly.

Want to learn more about how to help kids improve their performance, trust and confidence?

Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program....

You’ll learn how to:

>Instill a confident mindset in your young athletes

>Help kids deal with competitive pressure

>Help kids trust their skills on game day

>Help young athletes set goals

>Guide sports kids who are dealing with difficult feelings and much more!

Hop over to our web site to snag your copy:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert

P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/

©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!

Keeping Young Athletes from Dropping Out

Did you know that 75% of all young athletes drop out of sports by the time they are 13? They drop out because taking part in youth sports is no longer enjoyable for them.

What factors might lead young athletes to drop out? First of all, they might be playing for the wrong reasons—because a parent or coach wants them to play. Ultimately, playing to make someone else happy doesn't make the athlete happy.

Second, they may feel too much pressure to perform. When kids feel too much pressure, they often under-perform. Their confidence and happiness may sink.

Third, peers, parents and coaches may expect too much of young athletes—especially talented athletes. High expectations can undermine athletes' confidence and happiness.

To ensure your young athletes continue to enjoy sports, make sure they're playing because they want to play. Let your young athletes lead you. If all they want to do is play recreationally, let them do just that.

Don't push them to try out for higher levels of competition if they're mostly interested in playing for fun with friends. If you push them, your efforts may backfire and your kids may drop out of sports. Kids sometimes thrive when they can develop confidence at lower levels.

In addition, don't focus too much on winning. Winning may be fun for parents. But it's not always what's most fun for kids. Keep the long-term benefits of sports participation in mind. By taking part in athletics, kids learn important life skills such as sportsmanship, teamwork, and coping with adversity. They also stay fit and healthy.

Check your own motivations. Do you want your kids to play sports to win scholarships or to succeed in ways that you failed to succeed? Don't assume your athletes have the same goals or motivations that you have about sports.

Be a good cheerleader. Be positive and supportive of your young athletes' team and coaches. Find ways to help out the team. You can be a team parent or sign up to bring snacks, for example. While you're being supportive, be sure to keep your own coaching to a minimum. Leave the coaching to the coach.

Want to learn more about how to ensure kids stay in the game for as long as possible? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook and CD program. Nearly every section gives you important tips about how to ensure your kids enjoy sports for now and many years to come. Specifically, the workbook/CD program addresses:

*How to communicate with your young athletes

*How to help your athletes establish appropriate goals

*Providing positive motivation for your athletes

*How to instill a confident mindset in your sports kids

*Helping kids deal with competitive pressure

*Providing kids with positive support after defeat

**And much more!

Hop over to our web site to learn more how to help sports kids improve confidence and success!

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert

P.S. The Ultimate Sports Parent workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game or
competition:

http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!

Helping Your Sports Kid Set Good Goals

Too often, sports parents set goals for their kids that are different than the kids' goals. It’s important for parents and coaches to help sports kids identify their own goals and then help them follow through on them.

Says Dony Wilcher, a popular basketball coach in Portland, OR., “I had one parent who wanted the world for his child. He went out of his way to get him the right equipment and send him to the top camps.”

“At the end of it all, he was perplexed that the kid was not a superstar. In some cases, kids will veer away from the sport altogether if the parents' goals are different than theirs.”

At first, most kids generally want to play sports to have fun and be with friends. At that point, that’s their goal, and it’s not necessary to set goals with them.

When they begin to be competitive--when they play in tournaments or join competitive teams--it's time to begin talking about their goals. For some children, this might be as young as 7 or 8--if they display unusual talent and motivation.

For example, I worked with one 8-year-old motocross racer who spent four hours per day training. It would be appropriate to talk about goals with a child like this.

When you're talking with your young athlete, begin with a broad, open-ended question.

If, for example. your child's goal is to try out for and make his or her high school basketball team, that's the long-term goal. Ask the child what he or she needs to do to make the team.

Evaluate his or her skills in dribbling, free-throw shooting, and defense, for example. Try to de-emphasize the long-term goal of making the team. When young athletes are too preoccupied with making the team, they may impose too many expectations on themselves and undermine their confidence.

Instead, parents and coaches should help young athletes identify smaller, shorter-term goals, such as improving their free-throw shooting.

Once you've helped your young athletes identify their goals, it's your job to help them aim toward them. The parents, coaches and athletes need to work as a team.

Parents should support their athletes by driving them to practices, cheering them on, and finding ways to ensure they are able to follow through on their commitments.

However, it's critical to be flexible. Parents and coaches should help kids modify their goals on a weekly or monthly basis.

Want to learn more about helping young athletes feel happy and confident in sports? Check out our latest program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook and CD program:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

You'll learn...

• How much pressure is too much


• How to prepare young athletes on game day


• How to help kids stop worrying about what everyone thinks of their
  performance


• How to help kids overcome their fear of failure


• And much more!

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert

P.S. 'The Ultimate Sports Parent' workbook program comes with a neat
bonus that helps parents act and say the right things before a game
or competition, which you can download immediately:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

Helping Perfectionistic Sports Kids

Often, we hear from parents who worry about young athletes who are too hard on themselves. You’re likely familiar with these types of athletes. They’re perfectionists or perfectionistic.

Perfectionistic athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.

On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve. In fact, most athletes display at least some 'perfectionistic' traits from time to time.

It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities. When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results—statistics, goals scored or wins.

If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.

Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious? Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing? Does he or she play tentatively during games? Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?

One important task for you as parent....

Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.

For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives: 1. Pick the right target for each shot 2. Be decisive 3. Be confident.

Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes? Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.”

You’ll also learn how to:

• Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
• Motivate kids to master their sport
• Help kids feel confident in athletics
• Help young athletes not worry about what everyone thinks
• Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
• Cope with kids’ difficult or negative coaches
• Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author

P.S. Do you and your child want to learn how to overcome perfectionism, fear of failure, and perform up to one's potential? You might want to check out our new workbook to help sports kids perform better and accept imperfection.

©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!

http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

Beware of Abusive Coaches in Youth Sports

Lisa Cohn here, partner of my brother, Patrick Cohn from http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/. In my 14 years as a sports parent, one of the most difficult challenges I ever faced was coping with an abusive coach.

My son was a 7th grader who loved basketball more than anything in the world. But his coach was a nightmare. He yelled at the boys, threw basketballs at them, and called them names.

None of the other parents on this team were willing to call up the coach and question his style. Why? They were afraid the coach would bench their sons, cut their playing time, or cut then from the team altogether.

As a sports parent--especially if you're a parent to an elementary or middle-school aged child--it's your job to ensure your child is in good hands.

Before you even sign your kids up for a team, it’s entirely appropriate and reasonable to interview the coach. You should ask potential coaches about their philosophy and how they handle playing time.

That's not all you can do.

If your young athletes are already part of a team, but don't seem happy with the coach, you need to do some research. Is the coach always unhappy with your athlete's performance, no matter how well she performs?

Does the coach criticize your child constantly, or dwell on mistakes? Is your child withdrawn or quiet around the coach? If so, you need to take action.

You can learn more about how to interview and communicate with coaches. Check out our workbook/CD program, “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports” by using the link:

http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

You'll learn:

• How to evaluate a potential coach.
• How to communicate with your child's coach.
• What to do if your child's difficult coach is the only one in town.
• How to identify signs that the coach is undermining your athlete's
  experience.
• How to help kids cope with difficult feelings.
• How to teach kids no one is perfect!

Our new workbook program is flying off the shelves. Get your copy
today before we empty the shelves of the first printing!

http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author

P.S. For real-life strategies on how interview and communicate with your child's coach, check out our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

©2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
Instilling Mental Skills for Sports & Life!
888-742-7225 407-909-1700 (local)
http://www.peaksports.com/
7380 Sand Lake Rd. Orlando, FL 32819

How Youth Athletes Cope with Pressure

Do you know what kind of pressures young athletes face in sports?

As sports parents, it's important to be tuned in to this issue. If your athletes are equestrians, for example, they likely feel pressure to perform up to their abilities.

Then there's the added pressure of dealing with their horses' ups and downs. Add to that the potential for danger—and you've got a pressure-cooker situation at times.

That's what Missy Clark, head trainer and owner of North Run Show Stables, Warren, Vermont told us in a recent interview. She works with some of the top young riders in the country.

What distinguishes the top performers in high-pressure situations?

They understand the mental side of sports, Clark says. In fact, one of her most successful young athletes had a mind like a "sponge" for sports psychology, she says. "She wasn't the most naturally talented rider, but she had an incredibly open mind about the mental aspect of sports."

That’s true of kids in all sports. They face numerous pressures.

They may intimidate themselves by comparing themselves to their competitors. They may pressure themselves to perform better than their peers. They may feel pressure from coaches to improve their performance.

If sports kids can identify and learn how to cope with these pressures, they've got a tremendous advantage. They’re likely to be happier and more successful.

We know that your kids likely impose lots of pressure on themselves.

They don't need any additional pressure from you. Be very careful about how you phrase your words of "support," especially before a competition or game. Even if you say, before a game, "I hope you score three goals today," you're pressuring your athletes.

Do you want to learn more about how to boost your young athlete’s mental game? Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook and CD program. You’ll learn how to:

• Motivate kids to do well in sports
• Help kids feel confident in athletics
• Help young athletes stop worrying about what everyone thinks
• Teach kids no one is perfect
• Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
• Deal with kids’ difficult or negative coaches

Learn all our tips for providing athletes with the right kind of support--before games and after defeats or mistakes. Check out our Ultimate Sports Parent workbook/CD program.

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author

P.S. For more ideas about how to encourage kids in sports, check out
our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents:
http://youthsportspsychology.com/ultimate_sports_parent_workbook.php

© 2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/

How to Boost Kids' Sports Confidence

We often see kids who excel in practice, but freeze up during games. This can be frustrating and confusing for parents and coaches. What's going on in the young athlete's mind and what can sports parents and coaches do about it?

First, sports parents and coaches should help young athletes understand that they create their own sports confidence mindset. If kids begin a game needing immediate results (such as getting the first hit or basket of the game), they're hurting their confidence.

It is critical to remind young athletes that they've been practicing to develop confidence for many years. Don't let them lose their hard-earned confidence by worrying about achieving immediate results!

What's more, athletes need to understand that they'll be more successful if they assume full responsibility for their own confidence before competition begins. This is why it's called self-confidence!

Often, athletes take a back seat approach and wait until they make a couple of plays before they decide how confident they should feel.

If this is how your young athlete thinks, they need positive results before they feel confident. In other words, they need to make that great hit or basket before they can begin to feel confident.

If this is true of the young athletes in your life, you can help. Tell them they need to change how they think before entering competition. Tell them not to worry about making that first hit, goal or basket right away!

Instead, they should draw on their many successes even before the game or competition begins.

We suggest that you learn how to boost your child’s confidence. And we can help. Go check out our “Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook/CD program. You'll also discover:

* How to communicate with your young athletes.
* How to help them establish appropriate goals.
* How to help them trust their skills on game day.
* How to help them cope with competitive pressure.
* And other tips!

Sincerely,

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D., Mental Training Expert
& Lisa Cohn, Youth Sports Parenting Author

P.S. For more ideas about how to boost kids' confidence in sports,
check out our workbook/CD program – just for sports parents.
http://youthsportspsychology.com/

© 2007 The Ultimate Sports Parent by Peak Performance Sports
http://www.youthsportspsychology.com/